work is such a bitch. everyone can just go suck a hard cock and die.

DREAM

It was outdoors and there was a table. Sitting across me was Anna Wintour, and I was disgustingly sucking up to her. She never spoke, but just nodded and smiled as I did my best to keep her interested. She was wearing a fur coat.

Then my mum came along. And I introduced Wintour to my mum by saying “This is Anna Wintour. The editor-and-chief of Vogue.” But my mum was a real bitch, she disregarded Anne by giving us the ‘so-what’ face. I was so mad at my mum.

END

p.s: inspired by kelly oxford

this is want im gonna do in life

This perfectly explains the lack of updates...

and being lazy too.

In the News Today,

Just because Victoria.B named her daughter Harper Lee, there's a sudden jump in sales for her (the writer) books. I find this quite funny because the fans will be in for a surprise that To Kill a Mockingbird is actually a very chim and rather difficult book to complete and understand. If you can connect the dots of hidden meanings from Page 1 to the last page, then you're a pro.

It took me like 4 reads.

So honey, by following Posh Spice's favourite reads ain't gonna change anything. I really would like to know how many of you will actually finish reading the whole book.

P.S: I read it for Literature and it was indeed a tiring process, but in the end the book is truly fantastic. But I'm sure I wouldn't have read it for leisure, so I'm not trying to be an intellectual pompous ass who goes "oooh, look at mois. I read like thought-provoking novels and memoirs of politicians...." Like you, I also heart Twilight okz.

#twilightisliterature

I'm Swart

After reading the papers today about how this dude was wrongly convicted of murder and was thrown in jail partly due to the fact that he couldn't handle himself well as he has only an IQ of 79 thus 'confessing' to the murder, I quickly went to check my IQ to see whether I'm slow or a freakin genius. I never had an actual IQ test done before, and being cheap as I always, I googled 'FREE IQ TEST BITCHES' and completed one FOC.




The IQ level of a normal person is between 90 and 110.

I've got:

wait for it

I AM MORTIFIED

Refusing to believe that I'm just a mediocre individual with an IQ of 109, I like to see myself as someone who is just 2 more marks away from being a freakin brillant prodigy of science and the fine arts.

P.S: I heart gifs lol

Sleep

I have been constantly glancing at my phone, just sort of waiting for a text from no one. (l lie)

This has gone on for quite a while, and its due sadly to the fact that I’m not at a very high note in life.

It’s kinda funny how I said ‘in life’ as though like I lived for very long time already. I shall end a ‘so far’ behind.

Being someone that doesn’t cry easily, I’m sort of jealous of those who wear their hearts on their sleeves and just let their tears flow like a river when things are just plain shitty.

I tried you know (the crying), but end up smiling stupidly and going “omg wtf Elliot so fucking lame lol”

And the thing is I wanna be emoz for just a while. Like everybody has those days that they just wanna wallow in self-pity and today (and the past few days) is my day.

Bus rides, walking alone, showers (strictly showering, not you-know-what) are a few places I just enjoy indulging in some ‘poor me’ time, but the best is when in bed.

Specifically, it is when you’re settle in a perfect sleeping position, all tuck under your blanket safely like tampon. Your bare skin sometimes tingles lightly against the bed sheets that feel so soft and smooth to even comprehend, while your leg is wrapped tightly around a bolster, giving you the best security you will ever have at night. As a spell of slumber starts to gently hit you like fallen raindrops, you allow your thoughts to flutter aimlessly in your mind before letting out a final sigh of content in a temperature of pure comfort. With head rested on a cloud of heaven and eyes closed to an endless sea of black, your worries and distress start to feel as the last thing you can give a flying hoot about. You half-dream and half-think until you finally dive into dreamland.

Then wake up to shit again.

Lol, did I just spoil the perfectly good sleep for you?

Well last night in bed, feeling as low as you can get in a club, I decided to make a mental list of reasons for feeling like shit.

That was when I realized, if I penned it all down, that there are only 3.

Like 3 nia.

Come on, like seriously only 3? So I started pondering for more and added lame reasons like “Failed BTT” and I was like “Screw it, I was so over that already” and I couldn’t of think of anymore.

And then I started comparing my shit with other people I know. That got me thinking like why am I feeling so emoz about this shit when some of them are going through the same shit and yet don’t feel as shitty as I’m feeling.

Am I being stupid crazy? But right now I just want to have more problems so as to justify my self-pity.

Like seriously omg this is so messed-up, but it makes for good therapy nonetheless.

And you know what else makes for good therapy?

WATCHING CORN POP TO POPCORN IN SLOW-MOD



#mesmerizingshit