This has gone on for quite a while, and its due sadly to the fact that I’m not at a very high note in life.
It’s kinda funny how I said ‘in life’ as though like I lived for very long time already. I shall end a ‘so far’ behind.
Being someone that doesn’t cry easily, I’m sort of jealous of those who wear their hearts on their sleeves and just let their tears flow like a river when things are just plain shitty.
I tried you know (the crying), but end up smiling stupidly and going “omg wtf Elliot so fucking lame lol”
And the thing is I wanna be emoz for just a while. Like everybody has those days that they just wanna wallow in self-pity and today (and the past few days) is my day.
Bus rides, walking alone, showers (strictly showering, not you-know-what) are a few places I just enjoy indulging in some ‘poor me’ time, but the best is when in bed.
Specifically, it is when you’re settle in a perfect sleeping position, all tuck under your blanket safely like tampon. Your bare skin sometimes tingles lightly against the bed sheets that feel so soft and smooth to even comprehend, while your leg is wrapped tightly around a bolster, giving you the best security you will ever have at night. As a spell of slumber starts to gently hit you like fallen raindrops, you allow your thoughts to flutter aimlessly in your mind before letting out a final sigh of content in a temperature of pure comfort. With head rested on a cloud of heaven and eyes closed to an endless sea of black, your worries and distress start to feel as the last thing you can give a flying hoot about. You half-dream and half-think until you finally dive into dreamland.
Lol, did I just spoil the perfectly good sleep for you?
Well last night in bed, feeling as low as you can get in a club, I decided to make a mental list of reasons for feeling like shit.
That was when I realized, if I penned it all down, that there are only 3.
Come on, like seriously only 3? So I started pondering for more and added lame reasons like “Failed BTT” and I was like “Screw it, I was so over that already” and I couldn’t of think of anymore.
And then I started comparing my shit with other people I know. That got me thinking like why am I feeling so emoz about this shit when some of them are going through the same shit and yet don’t feel as shitty as I’m feeling.
Am I being stupid crazy? But right now I just want to have more problems so as to justify my self-pity.
Like seriously omg this is so messed-up, but it makes for good therapy nonetheless.
And you know what else makes for good therapy?
WATCHING CORN POP TO POPCORN IN SLOW-MOD
#mesmerizingshit
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