Bitch, please

I’m writing this entry so late that I think it is has become irrelevant, but I just have to put my thought on this very deep issue that is affecting all of us.

PEOPLE WHO WEAR SOCKS WITH SANDALS

Haha jk, no it’s the Singapore elections that has come and gone like how I come….and gone out of the toilet after taking a dump.

I’ll be hitting the big 2 in December but still not of age to vote for the elections. However, being older and have 3 members in my family who have to vote, I am aware of what’s going on. And let me be honest with you, my knowledge of the elections is as rich as my understanding of anthropology. But I am still willing to learn!

Okay let me give you an example on how rich it is (the knowledge).

My family and I were sitting around the telly watching the updates of the elections, and everyone was like talking about who they like or who were just pompous asses…and I chipped in by saying,

“Oh, I don’t like this guy. He looks so weird and still thinks he can lead the people. He never smiles and always looks down on people, literally.”

And at that minute, the screen flashed to Chiam See Tong.

“Omg, that’s him! So weridddddd!!” I cried.

“He suffered a stroke,” my family members shot back in unison.

I felt really bad.

So this is what bugs me - youngsters of my age group who do not give a rat’s ass about the elections, and still have the nerve to announce their 'can't-be-botheredness' to whoever is listening on Facebook and Twitter.

They go “omgawddd like the elections is like so totally lame, and like am I like the only cool kid on the block that can’t be bothered with it? Like don’t we have better shit to do like idling time away on social media platforms to read comments about the elections, like hello what’s up man!”

Ok, they don’t exactly say that, but they write some smart-ass statement about how they are different, ‘non-mainstream’ and are the ‘special ones’ who do not have an ounce of interest in the elections. You get what I mean? Is it really necessary?

You don’t have to be interested in the elections. Don’t get me wrong. I, for one, do not find it that exciting where I have insightful comments on whatever shit politicians talking about. I just listen and know.

But for 20 year-old boys and girls, who still possess immature mindsets about how they feel the need to let everyone know that the elections is stupid, makes me wanna ram a PAP flag pole up their tight asses and say “HOW DO YOU LIKE THE ELECTIONS NOW, BITCH”.

I know of people who confessed that they have no clue of what’s going on during the elections. But do they go “Elections? LAME!! Like I don’t even give a shit about it.”? No, they just state it emotionless, maybe with a tinge of embarrassment, before I fill them in using my first-class political knowledge (sarcasm).

So seriously, if you are as old as me and you do what I just mentioned above, I suggest you stop right now…..You most probably have stopped since it ended, but please don’t let that kind of stupidity continue OKAY? I doubt anyone is agreeing with you when you make this kind of idiotic declarations, instead everyone must be thinking ‘Wa, this boi/gal, so old liao still haven graduated from secondary school huh.”

Ya, please graduate from secondary school ok.

You so old, acting this way – NOT COOL

You are only allowed to act that way if you don't have to vote. Skip it lah, in 5 years time. Then you forever are not entitled to a voice. The only voice you have will be your lame ass comments about how you don't have to vote for eternity. V.coolz rite, I know. Make as much noise as you want, you empty kaopei vessel. This is my, your, our country we're talking about.

And speaking of being immature during the elections, you know when a politician is making his rounds around the neighbourhood to mingle and connect with residents and all that shit. He usually does the cliche holding a baby pose for the media, and I really wished something like this would happen: