Meet & Greet

Being sociable is a gift that I am not blessed with and my attempts to be outgoing are not only futile, but also turn situations more awkward then they have already been.

Maybe it's because people are naturally repulsed by me. Because one factor that allows a conversation to go on smoothly is first impressions. Or to put it more bluntly, your looks. And that is another thing I'm not blessed with either. We are only human and so sometimes we tend to judge people based on looks. Like who is a looker and who is just...ugly. But what separates you apart from being shallow is that you leave all the comments in your mind, and the ones who open their mouths are the ones who should be thankful that they cannot see their personalities in the mirror.

side note: i do now and then comment, but like it's usually to people who i have something personally against, so like it's okay hahaha omg suchabitch

Here's one example of a recent awkward situation, I was working and this regular came in and talked to the full-timer for awhile. And I just sort of kept to myself because like I don't see the need to converse. Then after awhile, he formally introduced himself to me over the bar. So it was, "Hi, I'm Puma. What's your name?" he asked.

"Hi, I'm Elliot (i always pronounce my name by emphasizing the E part, 'air-lliot', because some fools continue saying it the wrong way even after introduction)" I replied. "

When did you start working?" he continued.

"Oh, yesterday evening," I smiled.

He nodded in acknowledgment.

And after, came this silence. Like for 5 seconds. And I was like: Shit, say something.

"You came from work?" I said after observing his business attire.

"Yeah" he answered.

Silence did its second plunge. And this time it was deafening. Both of us stood there, separated by a slab of concrete and a wall of tension, for several extremely uncomfortable seconds before I whipped my phone and pretended to text.

But hold your horses, there is another incident take really takes the cake. Omg, it was at Jasmine's 18th birthday. I still clearly remember - I was having full-blown acne on my oily face, my hair was greasy like KFC due to the fact that I didn't wash it since yesterday, and I was still developing my dress sense and was most probably dressed like some desperate fashioniasta.

I was already dreading the occasion because she has other friends (unlike moi). That most likely mean that that will be mingling involve. Anyways, when I was there I felt both at home and self-conscious because there were my secondary school pals and also strangers there. Omg, ok I'm coming to it.

So there was this stupid girl who was seated beside me, she was sort of alone, neither here nor there. And I was like: Oh, like maybe I should like totally like create small talk to her because like I'm totally like outgoing and like so totally friendly to people. I turned and caught her attention, and gave a shrilled "Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii (smiley face (:)"

And she was like "FUCK OFF BITCH"

HAHAHHAHHAHAHHAHA JK

It's worse.

She ignored me.

Ok, not really ignore me. But she ignored me long enough to shock me as it was so intentionally done that it totally came off as cold and mean. But after like a few seconds she hii-ed back to me. BUT the hiiii was like a sigh. She was saying hi in a sigh. You know? Like okay, sigh now. Done? Ok, now do it again but say hi while sighing. Omg, such a bitch right?? I mean who does that???? ):

I do have my successful conversations with people who are naturally reserved. It comes easy for me with this type of people because hey - between you and me, I think I'm more of a social butterfly yeah? I recalled talking to this acquaintance of mine. It was a plus factor for me because I knew what were his interests and just remained on that subject so the ball kept rolling. However (there is always a however/but), he just wouldn't ask about me after we talked in great lengths about he and him and himself.

Like come on, Y SO SELF-CENTRED? Like everytime we come to a full-stop, I always think on my feet and bring up something that is related which gets the ball up and rolling. But hello? Ask something back about me? I would like some attention myself okie dokie?

Never ever in my life have I ever encounter a stranger who comes up to me and asks about me. I mean like not randomly like on the street or something, like from a social gathering or something... This tots sucks lots of hairy ballz. That is why I conclude that I am ugly and repulsive and no one ones to be my friend. Just look at me:

Acutally by looking at the photo, I am reliving the the orgasmic moment when I popped a fry coated in the beef spaghetti sauce into my mouth and letting the flavours just wrap around my tastebuds....I am definitely not going to give that up to be fit and healthy because apparently being fit and healthy = good-looking and confident. Well.....SUCK ON MY FRENCH FRY BITCH!