Penis

One of the things that occupied me during the hols was babysitting.



Yeah, you heard me. I babysat. This may come as quite a joke that I actually helped someone to babysit their 5 going on 6 year-old boy for a full 3 hours. Anyway, I do have the experience. I took Fudge under my wing for more then 4 years and have concluded that the only difference between dogs and toddles was only one can throw tantrums.



So it was day that Singapore had one of its freak weathers where it rained and shined simultaneously, I was rested comfortably on a sofa with Roice, listening to his summarize version of a 12-paged picture book he brought about dudes with swords and shields.

"Oh god, really? Then who's this purple guy with the crossbow?" I asked without peeling my eyes off the tele.

"He is the bad guy who bluff his friends because he turns bad and....oh no," squealed the boy.

I turned to look at him.

"There's a hole on my sleeve," he said, putting his finger through the hole and showing it to me.

"Haha, okay..." I said.

"You know that time when I was at home I was watching tv with my legs spread out, and I looked down and saw a big hole over here" Roice pointed to the crotch of his pants. "And I saw my penis sticking out."



I was quite taken aback. Penis? The 5 year old boy knows the correct name of what makes him a dude?

"That's cool about the hole, but who taught you penis?" I asked, this time with genuine interest.

"My mummy," he answered, before giving me one of the real innocent big-eyed i-still-suck-my-thumb face.

Woah, this was a shocker to me. Because for me, I didn't learn of that term till I reached the age of like lets say...10? When I had a glimpse of the human anatomy in the "Science is Fun" textbooks?

I grew up referring penis as kuku, or kuku bird, or bird bird or kuku jiao. And it was quite a taboo word to say 'kuku jiao" infront of people due to the fact that it was 'impolite'.

So to me, a small boy who just entered primary school knows the word 'penis' and uses it so matter-of-factly is very...how do you say it...mildly appalling? I dunno man, many of you might think that it is perfectly fine to teach them the correct terms and not sugar-coat it with stupid bird referrals but still....just imagine one of them comes up to you and say "My daddy slotted his penis into my mummy's vagina and ejaculated. That's how babies are made. My mummy and daddy told me."

My sudden revelation of children these days was cut short at the sound of Roice's voice.

"But my mummy say cannot anyhow touch the penis. But sometimes when I go pass urine, I play with the balls," he giggled, giving me the classic two-front-teeth-gone grin.



I contemplated for a split second, before uttering inaudibly to myself " Oh what the heck, he already knows penis what." And I started:

"Roice," I said as sweetly as possible. "The balls you said that are balls? Well, they're called testicles"

"Te..te..ta..cal," he stuttered.

" Say 'tes'," I began.

"Tes"

"Say 'ti'"

"Ti"

"Say cels"

"Cels"

"Tessssstiiiicelllllsss, testicles," I finished.

"Testicles," he followed.

"Or say testes, " I added "for short."