post-script

2012-01-19T20:55:00.003+08:00

this is want im gonna do in life

This perfectly explains the lack of updates...

2011-09-04T22:52:00.003+08:00

and being lazy too.

In the News Today,

2011-07-21T16:16:00.010+08:00

Just because Victoria.B named her daughter Harper Lee, there's a sudden jump in sales for her (the writer) books. I find this quite funny because the fans will be in for a surprise that To Kill a Mockingbird is actually a very chim and rather difficult book to complete and understand. If you can connect the dots of hidden meanings from Page 1 to the last page, then you're a pro.

It took me like 4 reads.

So honey, by following Posh Spice's favourite reads ain't gonna change anything. I really would like to know how many of you will actually finish reading the whole book.

P.S: I read it for Literature and it was indeed a tiring process, but in the end the book is truly fantastic. But I'm sure I wouldn't have read it for leisure, so I'm not trying to be an intellectual pompous ass who goes "oooh, look at mois. I read like thought-provoking novels and memoirs of politicians...." Like you, I also heart Twilight okz.

#twilightisliterature

I'm Swart

2011-07-06T13:51:00.007+08:00

After reading the papers today about how this dude was wrongly convicted of murder and was thrown in jail partly due to the fact that he couldn't handle himself well as he has only an IQ of 79 thus 'confessing' to the murder, I quickly went to check my IQ to see whether I'm slow or a freakin genius. I never had an actual IQ test done before, and being cheap as I always, I googled 'FREE IQ TEST BITCHES' and completed one FOC.

The IQ level of a normal person is between 90 and 110.

I've got:

wait for it

I AM MORTIFIED

Refusing to believe that I'm just a mediocre individual with an IQ of 109, I like to see myself as someone who is just 2 more marks away from being a freakin brillant prodigy of science and the fine arts.

P.S: I heart gifs lol

Sleep

2011-07-04T09:19:00.002+08:00

I have been constantly glancing at my phone, just sort of waiting for a text from no one. (l lie)

This has gone on for quite a while, and its due sadly to the fact that I’m not at a very high note in life.

It’s kinda funny how I said ‘in life’ as though like I lived for very long time already. I shall end a ‘so far’ behind.

Being someone that doesn’t cry easily, I’m sort of jealous of those who wear their hearts on their sleeves and just let their tears flow like a river when things are just plain shitty.

I tried you know (the crying), but end up smiling stupidly and going “omg wtf Elliot so fucking lame lol”

And the thing is I wanna be emoz for just a while. Like everybody has those days that they just wanna wallow in self-pity and today (and the past few days) is my day.

Bus rides, walking alone, showers (strictly showering, not you-know-what) are a few places I just enjoy indulging in some ‘poor me’ time, but the best is when in bed.

Specifically, it is when you’re settle in a perfect sleeping position, all tuck under your blanket safely like tampon. Your bare skin sometimes tingles lightly against the bed sheets that feel so soft and smooth to even comprehend, while your leg is wrapped tightly around a bolster, giving you the best security you will ever have at night. As a spell of slumber starts to gently hit you like fallen raindrops, you allow your thoughts to flutter aimlessly in your mind before letting out a final sigh of content in a temperature of pure comfort. With head rested on a cloud of heaven and eyes closed to an endless sea of black, your worries and distress start to feel as the last thing you can give a flying hoot about. You half-dream and half-think until you finally dive into dreamland.

Then wake up to shit again.

Lol, did I just spoil the perfectly good sleep for you?

Well last night in bed, feeling as low as you can get in a club, I decided to make a mental list of reasons for feeling like shit.

That was when I realized, if I penned it all down, that there are only 3.

Like 3 nia.

Come on, like seriously only 3? So I started pondering for more and added lame reasons like “Failed BTT” and I was like “Screw it, I was so over that already” and I couldn’t of think of anymore.

And then I started comparing my shit with other people I know. That got me thinking like why am I feeling so emoz about this shit when some of them are going through the same shit and yet don’t feel as shitty as I’m feeling.

Am I being stupid crazy? But right now I just want to have more problems so as to justify my self-pity.

Like seriously omg this is so messed-up, but it makes for good therapy nonetheless.

And you know what else makes for good therapy?

WATCHING CORN POP TO POPCORN IN SLOW-MOD

#mesmerizingshit

Dr Tony Tan

2011-06-26T15:07:00.000+08:00

He's running for the presidential election.

I dunno man, but I'm rather apprehensive.

He just doesn't look like a nice Indian man...

I LOL'ED SO HARD AT THIS

2011-06-22T15:36:00.001+08:00

Dumbledore, being gay, makes more sense now.

What have you been up to?

2011-06-20T21:48:00.000+08:00

Nothing...really...

Walk with some Swagger

2011-06-14T22:05:00.000+08:00

The next time someone asks me do I swim since I'm so tan, I'm gonna say no, I row. Like boats. I row freakin boats. The dragon ones. And then I'll laugh. Because just the thought of me sweating it out with oars and 22 other brawn boys makes one hell of a joke.

Bitch, please

2011-06-03T00:38:00.000+08:00

I’m writing this entry so late that I think it is has become irrelevant, but I just have to put my thought on this very deep issue that is affecting all of us.

PEOPLE WHO WEAR SOCKS WITH SANDALS

Haha jk, no it’s the Singapore elections that has come and gone like how I come….and gone out of the toilet after taking a dump.

I’ll be hitting the big 2 in December but still not of age to vote for the elections. However, being older and have 3 members in my family who have to vote, I am aware of what’s going on. And let me be honest with you, my knowledge of the elections is as rich as my understanding of anthropology. But I am still willing to learn!

Okay let me give you an example on how rich it is (the knowledge).

My family and I were sitting around the telly watching the updates of the elections, and everyone was like talking about who they like or who were just pompous asses…and I chipped in by saying,

“Oh, I don’t like this guy. He looks so weird and still thinks he can lead the people. He never smiles and always looks down on people, literally.”

And at that minute, the screen flashed to Chiam See Tong.

“Omg, that’s him! So weridddddd!!” I cried.

“He suffered a stroke,” my family members shot back in unison.

I felt really bad.

So this is what bugs me - youngsters of my age group who do not give a rat’s ass about the elections, and still have the nerve to announce their 'can't-be-botheredness' to whoever is listening on Facebook and Twitter.

They go “omgawddd like the elections is like so totally lame, and like am I like the only cool kid on the block that can’t be bothered with it? Like don’t we have better shit to do like idling time away on social media platforms to read comments about the elections, like hello what’s up man!”

Ok, they don’t exactly say that, but they write some smart-ass statement about how they are different, ‘non-mainstream’ and are the ‘special ones’ who do not have an ounce of interest in the elections. You get what I mean? Is it really necessary?

You don’t have to be interested in the elections. Don’t get me wrong. I, for one, do not find it that exciting where I have insightful comments on whatever shit politicians talking about. I just listen and know.

But for 20 year-old boys and girls, who still possess immature mindsets about how they feel the need to let everyone know that the elections is stupid, makes me wanna ram a PAP flag pole up their tight asses and say “HOW DO YOU LIKE THE ELECTIONS NOW, BITCH”.

I know of people who confessed that they have no clue of what’s going on during the elections. But do they go “Elections? LAME!! Like I don’t even give a shit about it.”? No, they just state it emotionless, maybe with a tinge of embarrassment, before I fill them in using my first-class political knowledge (sarcasm).

So seriously, if you are as old as me and you do what I just mentioned above, I suggest you stop right now…..You most probably have stopped since it ended, but please don’t let that kind of stupidity continue OKAY? I doubt anyone is agreeing with you when you make this kind of idiotic declarations, instead everyone must be thinking ‘Wa, this boi/gal, so old liao still haven graduated from secondary school huh.”

Ya, please graduate from secondary school ok.

You so old, acting this way – NOT COOL

You are only allowed to act that way if you don't have to vote. Skip it lah, in 5 years time. Then you forever are not entitled to a voice. The only voice you have will be your lame ass comments about how you don't have to vote for eternity. V.coolz rite, I know. Make as much noise as you want, you empty kaopei vessel. This is my, your, our country we're talking about.

And speaking of being immature during the elections, you know when a politician is making his rounds around the neighbourhood to mingle and connect with residents and all that shit. He usually does the cliche holding a baby pose for the media, and I really wished something like this would happen:

Mistakes are Fun

2011-05-12T13:51:00.000+08:00

No, my dear. That's Katy Perry. The animal beside her is a donkey.

To all Mums, Mothers, & Mummies,

2011-05-08T22:14:00.000+08:00

Oh hold up!

Do I notice a stunning image on this blog? A high-resolution photo that brings out the vibrant colours so effortlessly?

So wait, you finally got a new camz after many years of saying you would but have never live up to what you said until now? So what, you're one of them artsy look-at-me-im-a-photographer-so-totally-coolz disgusting snobs?

HELL YEAH

During Internship

2011-05-03T10:40:00.000+08:00

This is the closest I get to sit on the lines of danger.

And just so to be clear before I get flake from whoever, I was doing research ok.

P.s: I didn't hit continue lol

Meet & Greet

2011-03-15T00:23:00.000+08:00

Being sociable is a gift that I am not blessed with and my attempts to be outgoing are not only futile, but also turn situations more awkward then they have already been.

Maybe it's because people are naturally repulsed by me. Because one factor that allows a conversation to go on smoothly is first impressions. Or to put it more bluntly, your looks. And that is another thing I'm not blessed with either. We are only human and so sometimes we tend to judge people based on looks. Like who is a looker and who is just...ugly. But what separates you apart from being shallow is that you leave all the comments in your mind, and the ones who open their mouths are the ones who should be thankful that they cannot see their personalities in the mirror.

side note: i do now and then comment, but like it's usually to people who i have something personally against, so like it's okay hahaha omg suchabitch

Here's one example of a recent awkward situation, I was working and this regular came in and talked to the full-timer for awhile. And I just sort of kept to myself because like I don't see the need to converse. Then after awhile, he formally introduced himself to me over the bar. So it was, "Hi, I'm Puma. What's your name?" he asked.

"Hi, I'm Elliot (i always pronounce my name by emphasizing the E part, 'air-lliot', because some fools continue saying it the wrong way even after introduction)" I replied. "

When did you start working?" he continued.

"Oh, yesterday evening," I smiled.

He nodded in acknowledgment.

And after, came this silence. Like for 5 seconds. And I was like: Shit, say something.

"You came from work?" I said after observing his business attire.

"Yeah" he answered.

Silence did its second plunge. And this time it was deafening. Both of us stood there, separated by a slab of concrete and a wall of tension, for several extremely uncomfortable seconds before I whipped my phone and pretended to text.

But hold your horses, there is another incident take really takes the cake. Omg, it was at Jasmine's 18th birthday. I still clearly remember - I was having full-blown acne on my oily face, my hair was greasy like KFC due to the fact that I didn't wash it since yesterday, and I was still developing my dress sense and was most probably dressed like some desperate fashioniasta.

I was already dreading the occasion because she has other friends (unlike moi). That most likely mean that that will be mingling involve. Anyways, when I was there I felt both at home and self-conscious because there were my secondary school pals and also strangers there. Omg, ok I'm coming to it.

So there was this stupid girl who was seated beside me, she was sort of alone, neither here nor there. And I was like: Oh, like maybe I should like totally like create small talk to her because like I'm totally like outgoing and like so totally friendly to people. I turned and caught her attention, and gave a shrilled "Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii (smiley face (:)"

And she was like "FUCK OFF BITCH"

HAHAHHAHHAHAHHAHA JK

It's worse.

She ignored me.

Ok, not really ignore me. But she ignored me long enough to shock me as it was so intentionally done that it totally came off as cold and mean. But after like a few seconds she hii-ed back to me. BUT the hiiii was like a sigh. She was saying hi in a sigh. You know? Like okay, sigh now. Done? Ok, now do it again but say hi while sighing. Omg, such a bitch right?? I mean who does that???? ):

I do have my successful conversations with people who are naturally reserved. It comes easy for me with this type of people because hey - between you and me, I think I'm more of a social butterfly yeah? I recalled talking to this acquaintance of mine. It was a plus factor for me because I knew what were his interests and just remained on that subject so the ball kept rolling. However (there is always a however/but), he just wouldn't ask about me after we talked in great lengths about he and him and himself.

Like come on, Y SO SELF-CENTRED? Like everytime we come to a full-stop, I always think on my feet and bring up something that is related which gets the ball up and rolling. But hello? Ask something back about me? I would like some attention myself okie dokie?

Never ever in my life have I ever encounter a stranger who comes up to me and asks about me. I mean like not randomly like on the street or something, like from a social gathering or something... This tots sucks lots of hairy ballz. That is why I conclude that I am ugly and repulsive and no one ones to be my friend. Just look at me:

Acutally by looking at the photo, I am reliving the the orgasmic moment when I popped a fry coated in the beef spaghetti sauce into my mouth and letting the flavours just wrap around my tastebuds....I am definitely not going to give that up to be fit and healthy because apparently being fit and healthy = good-looking and confident. Well.....SUCK ON MY FRENCH FRY BITCH!

HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

2011-03-02T16:01:00.000+08:00

A very underated artiste in the music industry, Sarah Bareilles, who has captivated all our hearts with her hit song 'Love Song', is finally coming here to Singapore to hold a concert at the Esplanade! Throws up hands and screams like a sissy boy in a korean concert*

Sarah Bareilles is like one of the few genuinely talented singers who writes her own songs and actually sound better live. Her songs are not overproduced techno klangs and wangs, and sure as hell do not give off a pretentious 'indie' vibe.

The thing that strikes me most about her is that she does spectacular covers of songs from various singers and successfully makes her own.

Covers like:

Yellow by Coldplay

Fuck you by Cee-Lo

This my ultimate fav - Single Ladies by Beyonce

She'll be coming in May, you can get more info here.

Yupp....so..........................................

omg who wants to go with me???????????????????????????

I have no one to go with because no one I know adores SB as much as I do ):

I actually had my cousin aboard with me but the date has made it impossible for her )):

It will be in the esplanade you know.....so like it will be an intimate and most likely acoustic performance from her. You get your own seat, you won't have to stand, you will avoid shoves and pushing from over-enthusiastic sweaty and smelly fans........

SO if you wanna gooooooooooooooooo, like tell me because I'm looking for someone to go with and like from this you know that I don't really have many friends because I'm ugly and very uncool but please, let us get past my ugliness and uncoolness and go with me to SB's concert.

This is my dying wish to you.

Unbelievable

2011-02-03T02:19:00.000+08:00

Happy Chinese New Year!

Ok, now on to a discovery that blew my mind.

I was browsing through the old entries of Kelly Oxford's tumblr when I stumbled on an entry on men who were once fat.

And I saw Marc Jacobs, my jaw just dropped.

I have seen many before and after fat to skinny people photos, but the transformation of Marc Jacobs made the arches of my eyebrows rise to the heavens and beyond.

The thing is I have seen Marc Jacobs before - both fat and skinny but just didn't put two and two together and thought they were different people.

I remembered one day in school, my polymate was flipping through a fashion magazine when she turned the page to this advert:

And she was "Oh, this is Marc Jacobs, like the designer himself not a model. He is one of the very few good-looking straight designers."

After she said that, I was deeply puzzled. Because I watch the Style Network on cable and have seen like interviews done with Marc Jacobs as this fat and unkempt person. But then again I'm not someone who knows labels and all that jazz and thought that that sweaty-looking person must be a designer for some other brand. So I exclaimed "Ohhhh waaaa, he's really good-looking."

This happened months back. I just realized that both of them are the same person an hour ago. You can't blame me, just look at how he looked like before:

And now:

unless you play the bag-pipes well, loose the skirt.

I don't like to use profanities on my blog but this really is

MIND-FUCKING MY BRAIN

Damn man, since we're (or me) on the topic of weight-loss, I gained approximately 7kg over the span of November till now. Because firstly, there was pre-xmas when I told myself I should loose as much weight for xmas goodies and delicacies from Turkey. The plan failed and I told myself: ok just eat as much as you want you obese grotesque porcine but after you come back from Turkey you'll have to diet and exercise. But then again, CNY will be a month time so I told myself again: what for loose weight when you will gain it back and what for be selective on your food choices when its a festive occasion so ta-dah - I now weigh 62kg.

I just realized that I neither have a 'secondly' nor a 'lastly' to follow up on my 'firstly'...let's just keep it as that.

Till then!

P.S: Kailyn, apparently MJ isn't straight, he is the gay.

Engaged somemore sioz!

Hold Up

2010-12-25T17:33:00.000+08:00

You know its Christmas when you have single-handedly finished eating all the chocolate from the Advent calendar. Like this guy over here:

The last piece of chocolate was a santa claus.

I'll be catching a flight to turkey today and will be there for a week! My mum just finished inspecting my luggage, which means she unfolded and refolded my clothes lol I can't fold clothes for shit.

Fudge wants to go too...

Ok then. I know I said the previous entry is my last entry for 2010 but I lied. This is confirmz the last of the last last entry.

HNY everyone!!!

2011

2010-12-22T14:12:00.000+08:00

Oh hi, didn't see you there. So once again, another year is coming to an end. Shit, only one more year to live before the arrival of 2012.

I don't know why, but my inspiration to blog has dwindled since like October? I actually have numerous topics to blog about. I'm just really lazy that's all.

Anyway, I really do want to write a final entry before 2011. I'll be away to Turkey during the last week so it has to be now. And what better way to finish off the year with an entry of my annual list of new year's resolutions.

To me, listing resolutions every year is sort of important me; regardless of whether I stay true to it or not.

So let's start:

Family

So far nothing should be changed lah. I mean its not that I am a son who hates his family and shit, just that everything is fine family-wise? Better than fine actually. It has been this way since day 1.

Friends

Definitely to stay in touch. But this shouldn't be problem as we all have been very contactable this year.

School

Sighs...school school school. Where should we start. Academically, definitely do well. I mean who wouldn't want that? I think maybe the specific resolution should be don't start studying for tests the day before the test.

And the people in school....Ok, lemme start off by saying I don't like using my blog (my precious, personal online-diary if you wanna call it that) to out people online.

I don't go "The girl in my class is such a total bitch today. I mean she is like that everyday but today she's exceptionally horrible....blahblahblah". And I don't like to give the people codenames so as it mask their identity which suddenly makes it alright to carry on with the bitching. I just don't do that. If you do it, then you do it. I just don't. Like if I were to rant on an asshole on my blog, I'll use the person's actual name. And you know, apart from the tiny balls I have, I just don't find the joy in doing that, or the vindication that yes! - justice is done and revenge is served. Maybe people don't do that for the justice or whatever, but for the release of their emotions. I just choose not to turn my blog into a platform for long entries on the assholes in my life. I treasure my blog too much to have that happen.

So lemme start again the people in school. I bet there are several who really despise the bones in my body. Or maybe just my face. And the funny thing is that I really have no freakin idea what I did to provoke them to really hate me. I mean the stares I get. Like woah, is it really necessary? The hurtful scorns displayed on faces everything time I appear? The stupid eye rolling at every word I say? To tell you the truth, no matter how significant you are to me, I get affected at every comment I get. Not the kind of 'getting affected' where if I hear an insult, I'll break down and cry. It's actually the I-feel-like-tearing-your-face-off-your-head kinda of getting affected. LOL - gangsta much?

So the resolution for 2011 is that I just gonna leave that shit alone. I'll ignore, avoid and do whatever I can to just steer away. Keep in mind I won't give in. If it comes up all in my face, I'll just return with an extra 100%. Let's keep things real, don't go to your blogs, livejournals, tumblr, facebook or twitter accounts to bash me. You see me - say it, but remember to spray it!

Personal Life

Continue with this blog. You'll never see this blog shut down. Not even when I die, its like my never-ending legacy lol

Stop the vulgarities. And strangely, my mouth only turns potty in school. See what school has done to me ):

Read the Bible. Even thought my faith isn't strong because of hiccups I experienced from certain incidents that make me wanna go "F you Christianity.", I still strongly believe in my religion nonetheless.

Lastly, I really need to do more writing. Writing to build up my portfolio. Complete the writing course, start on the fantasy essay and just find every possible openings that I can submit my writings. Like I'm going to turn 19 in a few days time, 20 next year. Poly is ending and I am growing. Shit just got serious.

So lemme wish you all a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

A time for new beginnings and why is it ok to turn emotional again since 2010 is coming a close?

Life as I Know It

2010-12-05T00:10:00.000+08:00

I don't want to sound like some deprived, self-pitied, the-world-is-against-me-boo-hoo-poor-me kinda person, but if someone was to ask me "Hey Elliot *gives a smiley face*, what is life to you so far?"

My one word reply would be "Studying."

Ok, not really...I would go "Ummm, why the sudden insightfulness? You crazy ah!"

But I really think 'studying' sums up what I know life so far. And I'm certain that many (I honestly want to use 'all', but surely there's a handful that will say "what's this stupid shithead basing his assumptions on") Singaporeans will agree with me on this one.

I'm young and still schooling, so maybe I can't give an accurate answer. And I strongly believe that the people who have a clear definition on what is life to them are those who travel around the world.

You know, the kind of soulful people who embark on backpacking journeys to unknown countries that have lots of trees and mountains, and just stand on one spot to look out in a distance and soak up the awesomeness of what life really is...

3 factors on what's stopping me from travelling: I neither have the 1)freedom, nor the 2)expenses for the revelation of life. And I'm actually 3)not planning on doing that.

I mean like that's my opinion that to properly know what life is, you have to travel. And so far for me, it's, as I said, studying.

I want to hear from those who are of same age as me and think differently on the answer to the question. Like seriously, no meh? Since young you no study?

And when I say "studying", this means it is placed on top of my pirority list...followed by air, water and food.

Do you remember when you were in Primary school (and especially at primary 3 and 6 because of streaming and PSLE respectively), your mums will buy like stacks of skyscraper-tall exam papers with the names of the schools mysteriously blotted out on purchase?

Well, I do. And oh how I dreaded my mum's arrival to my room, one hand holding a brick of exams papers and the other wielding a cane, and she'll go "Okay, today you do English and Maths. Tomorrow Science. Lao Shi (teacher in Chinese) will take care of your Chinese. And if I find you dreaming, I'll cane you!"

Sadly, the efforts didn't pay off and I went to normal stream. lol.

And then in secondary school, the experience was actually refreshing. I had this new-found freedom during that period, but it came with setbacks. For example, I couldn't go "Teacher! Teacher! Zhen Liang called me stupid!" anymore. And of course, the one that everyone has to go through - 'O' levels. Not forgetting the rotten ten-year-series. What the heck, there is a TYS dedicated to each subject.

I still remember my Maths teacher telling the whole class in a matter-of-factly sort of way, "You should have completed the whole ten-year-series right before the 'O' levels."

Now do you understand why I say "studying". There's just isn't an end to the academics. I'm already catching a glimpse on what university life is as my elder brother is currently in one.

Kicking his shoes off like a bull getting ready to charge, my brother would sometimes come home, grumbling "God, seriously the people in my class need to get a life. So freaking competitive and not genuinely interested in anything other than getting As."

My brother gets so pissed off occasionally and announces to no one in particular, "I'm so going to migrate. Singapore's education is too crazy. I want my kids to go out and play. Go run in the fields, go catch balls. Everyday in Singapore just study, study, study. Why can't you play? Ohhh tomorrow got ting xie (spelling in Chinese)...." and on and on. Usually my response is no response, just the rolling of my eyes. Because it does get excessive and unnecessary at times.

You can't say he doesn't a point. I mean like I won't fault the education system or whoever or whatever is responsible, but it is the fierce competition that forces people like me to study for the sake of staying on top.

And the thing is academics and I do not mix well. My forte is never studying, doing well in exams, getting top marks for mental sums...I bet I would have suffered if I went into a Junior College. That is why I opted for Polytechnic. And now, how about you wait here while I go hang the jerk who claimed that poly life is a breeze.

Even as I write this entry, the sudden thought of a report due in 2 days is bugging me now and thus have to wrap up.

So the life as I know it, is simply studying through the years.

It's just another fact in life. And oh how my bum aches to go out and do my thing when I'm older and hopefully equipped with right skills and qualifications.

Maybe I'll return to this blog in ten years time, and write a more postive angle on the same topic.
(provided the world doesn't end in 2012)

I know I sound disgustingly intellectual, but hell, you get only one life.

I'm too Cool for School

2010-11-26T21:12:00.000+08:00

Note: The videos at the bottom auto-play upon entering here. To have a distraction-free read, please scroll down and pause the vidz. Tq.

Before I begin, I would like to show you something:

I confess my spelling is horrible. Sometimes I would open MicrosoftWord just to type in a word I have difficulty spelling, right-click the red quiggly underlined word and get the correct one. Some words that I will never learn how to spell are 'neccessary', 'entrepurenership', 'diraheea' and 'hippopotamas'.

Anyways, how be you? I sincerely apologize that my entries are getting less frequant now ): But chu're in for a long entry after for so long (:

It is not my normal entries that I just blog about random nonsencial thing or action I observe, nor it is what I did last saturday night (which was staying at home underneath my covers and wishing that I had friends).

I realize that I have never shared an exit-secondary-school-enter-polytechnic entry. I think mainly its because I didn't get in the course I wanted and didn't want to share with people my big disappointment at that time.

So lets start from the beginning.

Olevels L1R4 - 14
L1R5 - 18

I knew already getting into a course that I wanted will be slim.

At first it was mass comm, but changed my mind to creative writing at SP because I wanna to do writing. (duh)

But freaking pangsai, I got into my seventh (mind you not like third or fourth but SEVEN) choice to a course that I have never heard in my life until I received the booklet from them.

To add on to an already quite major letdown, I managed to secure an interview for the creative writing course, went for it, came back anxious, stayed nervous but hopeful, and then received a rejection letter. Stupid ass. I swear man, the night before the interview I was up the whole night feeling so stressed out. I even wrote a list of possible questions and thought of insightful answers. But from the start of the the interview, I felt defeated.

At the interview, they began by asking gently,

"So Elliot, what shows do you like from Mediacorp?"

Wah lao eh, I wanted to shit in my pants man. Like hello? Seriously Mediacorp? Like do you know what's cable? And like, mediacorp shows are kinda not really nice ok? Like who allows a shit sitcom such as 'Police and Thief" to be aired on national tv? You should totally like 'Like' this if you like agree.

I know you would tell me to lie and embrace the local programmes. However, at that moment I just said what went through my head, I said,

"Ehhhh, (I spoke really softly) I don't really watch these shows..."

Then they (btw, there were 3 interviewers) probed me on.

"Oh, I liked that show...En bloc! It really reflects well on the housing controversy in Singapore..."I stammered unconvincingly.

i apparently hearts en bloc

One of them even exclaimed "Really, you don't watch any shows?? Have you watch Little Nonya?"

I went, "Umm...not really.......I watched it on the SBS bus before I think...."

They carried on by asking me my favourite Mediacorp actor. My armpits were getting really moist by the minute. Fav Mediacorp actor? You must be joking!!!!! And for some funny reason, I linked my this answer to the En Bloc answer.

I muttered, "Andrea Foneska"

It was actually 'Andrea Fon-seka". I said "Fon-neska".

The male interviewer corrected my 'Foneska' and suddenly became exasperated and exclaim something like you don't even watch mediacorp shows then why do you wanna apply for this course. I forgot what my answer was but I guessed it failed miserbly judging by the resulted school I'm in.

I do remember the last question. The indian femal interviewer asked me "What do you want to achieve from this course?"

I replied, "Oh...maybe write a sitcom?"

"Oh really?" She said, looking genuinely interested. "What will your sitcom be about?"

I gave an extremely lame answer. So lame that lame people will get up and start walking.

"Ohh..recession." I smiled.

Creative writing was my first choice. Followed by all the Mass Comm courses from all the polys, then visual comm from tp, then finally Media studies and Managment course from NYP.

You know the phrase 'the cream of the crop'? Majority of my classmates were all rejects from mass comm. We're from the crop, just not the cream ):

My course has your normal media stuff, but it has lots of business incoporated which is a struggle for me. I can never comprehend with businessy shit. I got my first D for the first sem for marketing. Like omg, who gets a freaking D at the start?

Whatever the case is, here are some works I, in groups, did that apparently makes it ok to say I'm a media student.

This is one of the earlierst films we did, it is a video on someone with a hobby. The video sucks, but the guy in it is such a nice, talented boy.

This one is where we had to direct like a scripted film. I was sick on the day of shooting though :O

This is a talkshow on thailand. I got my 2 BFFs IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD to help me with this.

I actually have one more, but my com crashed and so its gone. It's just a music video with people, you know, in a video with music. lol.

Actually, all the vidz is rather lousy. I never got an A for filming T.T But the experience was something I can take home and learn.

Finally, I would like to say that everything works out for the best. The only thing I was honestly afraid of was not fitting in in the new environment. I'm so glad I find a group of people that I have loads of fun with. Even though there are 2 writing modules in my course, I'm just really thankful and happy.

God, Imma stop here. Emotional shit aint my cup of tea.

This is Embarrassing...

2010-11-02T00:12:00.000+08:00

Golly, it has been like what, almost 2 months since I hit 'Publish Post'? I'm sorry deariesss ):

You see, my entries, if you faithfully read, aren't made up of what I do everyday. It's just like random topics I decided to write about. I'm not dry on ideas, don't get me wrong, I just tend to forget. You see, I'm a very lazy person and usually get my thoughts together while lying on the bed, to get some shuteye. I would go "Hmm, yes I should tots write about that." one night, and then procrastinate the next day, and then completely forget the wonderful idea the following day.

And like during the hols, I was more excited to do the banner thingy. I'm looking at it right now and feel that is just too much. Actually its a bit gross. Ok, fine, very.

I'm doing a report now, I have on a hat. I like to think of it as my thinking cap. And no, I'm not gonna write 'ferdonasjjefn-dunno how you spell it' and act all fashionista.

I have on my secondary sch pe t-shirt. I like to see people wear my sec sch t-shirt because I will go "SHIT WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON"

Omg, see how my entries are getting lacklustre. And I can sense that an eyebrow was raised after you read 'lacklustre'.

Yes, I use vocabulary.

Hi

2010-09-22T12:24:00.000+08:00

Just to let you know that

when you apply to open an account for driving, the only form of payment is

FREAKIN NABEI CCB NETS

Pls don't be like a fool like me who was really desperate, and tried paying by a credit card followed by anyhow punching in pin number.

So embarrassing.

I can't believe that cash payment is not accepted. Fark you and you stupid technology.

Actually, I think I'm the big joke. 19-year-old boy without a nets card, is like pastor without a bible.

Finally!

2010-09-13T18:56:00.000+08:00

NEW BLOG SKIN IS UP!!!

Actually no, I only did the banner. Umm, it is not really a banner banner but like just upload the image if you know how blogger works? Well, I did the image from scratch literally. The rest is the functions on blogger where you can change fonts etc... Elliot has a limit to his IT skills, son.

I must say it took my quite a while. Googling for ideas, following step-step-by tutorial, watching self-help youtube vidz. Man....I'm beat.

Ok, a proper entry next time. When is next time? HAHAHA, SOON I PROMISE!! I need my rest after spending so much time on the banner/image or whatever.

k, keep it lock homeboiz.

Start Studying at 1pm

2010-08-23T17:03:00.000+08:00

Time Check - 5pm

work is still untouched

My out-of-bed look. I always post ugly pics of myself.

I feel really sour, lick me if you wan something tangy. But then again don't, that will be just plain disgusting.

My New Desktop Brackground

2010-08-18T01:29:00.000+08:00

say yay to exams and boo to hardly anymore blog updates ):

Look at my Stupid Dog

2010-08-04T01:39:00.001+08:00

so disgusting...

My Pimpz like Shugar

2010-07-27T00:08:00.000+08:00

Late nights = Bad complexion

Remedy: Lemon Juice

I'm suppose to write cue cards now but I'm so distracted.

eeee, my stupid bro in the background. spoil the pic.

I'm so tired...this entry is so aimless...no subject matter.

Anyways, pls check http://www.thefatvegetable.blogspot.com/

Ah yah, nothing much lah only group project where we had to write out articles about stuff, and put it in an online newsletter we created from scratch. I dont wanna let the efforts go down the toilet by just showcasing this lovely website for 8mintues during class presentation. I wanta something more.

I wrote the first 2 articles k. It will be quite fun if there were commentzzzz YESH?

Car Crash

2010-07-23T20:28:00.000+08:00

Innocent, ignorant, adorable and vulnerable.

But after/during puberty....

Somebody call 911...

This Little Piggy went to the Market

2010-07-09T23:16:00.000+08:00

Scene 1: HDB supermarket

Scene 2: Home, Kitchen

Scene 1 Act 1

Mummy: Son, help me get a basket.

Elliot rudely jostles other Aunties to go get basket.

Jostled Aunties give Elliot cold stares.

Elliot rolls bitchy eyeballs.

Elliot: Hi Mummy, here's your basket. But I help you carry. Can I go get yalkut?

Mummy: Sure son, I need some limes too.

Elliot: Okie dokie

Scene 1 ends

Scene 2 Act 1

Mummy places grocery bags on kitchen counter.

Elliot: Want some yalkut, Mummy?

Mummy: No thanks, son.

Maid enters scene.

Maid helps Mummy with grocery bags.

Mummy takes out fish, chicken and vegetables. Until...

Mummy:

Elliot: This is the limez.

Mummy: Fark no! This is then the lime.

Elliot: LOL. Sorry Mummy.

Scene 2 ends

It has been Long

2010-07-06T20:16:00.000+08:00

Can someone please enlighten me?

We all know its against the rules to eat and drink on the train and train stations. But is water also considered? Like plain simple pure untainted water?

Because I was told off today by one of the idiot SMRT staff which pretty much pissed me off. I was on and escalator going up while that dude was coming down. So suay, I whipped out my giant sized ice mountain bottle (actually it wasn't mine...just that I accidentally touched the mouth piece so it was given to me....see, everyone hates me ):), took a quick sip and the dude was like

"Oi, boy. No drinking here!"

"It's water," I exclaimed with disbelief.

"Still cannot!"

Actually, it was quite funny because it all took place while both of us were at a constant motion. Something like this:

Thankfully, it wasn't big of a deal like I kena summon or what like quite stupid if I kena. But seriously, drink water on train cannot meh??

I really hate this kind of ridiculous rules. Only know how to make life so difficult to live in.

28 May

2010-06-17T00:54:00.000+08:00

My photoshop aint working and that is why my blog seems dead. Remember I mentioned my com crash? Well, it crashed and burned really badly. All my files, photos, assignments, programs went up in smoke like how I used a matchstick to set fire to your mum's chest hair. Arrghhh, writing this out wouldn't explain the immense annoyance I'm feeling right now. Fark you computer for giving me problems. Shit ballz, hate you technology. Anyways, on a lighter note:

Happy Birthday my beloved HoneyBeeBear!!

I know its a super late entry, but I'll never miss it out no matter whatz!

Help me say happy birthday to your 10thousand chins too!

Doncha we looka fine

Best spontaneous moment EVER

I tots dig their outfit

This is da best photo I can find us together.

Bebe and I looka gangstress walking down the streets of Tanjong Katong.

Excited bears

PHOTOSHOP FAIL

Babycakes

Oh, its my natural hair colour. Dont you find it chio?

Umm....self-explanatory.

XOXO

I'm an Emo Mess

2010-06-06T21:54:00.001+08:00

Failures, setbacks, disappointments....that's all I'm getting lately.

It has been long since I ever posted a suicidal-looking entry but yeah, it's all welling up in the chest.

I don't wanna explain further on the things that are biting me because at the same time of being emo, I get paranoid. Therefore I strongly think they are horrible people out there that are just plain happy seeing me spiraling down like a hopeless, under-achieving little fucker.

I even let myself down for not blogging.

Ok, think that's about it. Now I'm gonna kill myself with a cheese grater.

Burn, Baby, Burn

2010-05-22T16:05:00.000+08:00

Guess what.

My Fugistu lappy crashed. Actually I'm not really sure whether it crashed or what but I just couldn't log into my main account. It is quite funny because a bunch of us all got the same brand of laptops from the school's laptop exhibition and one by one each laptop started to fall apart like dandruff.

I'm currently using my mum's lenovo lappy. The shitty one that I raved 2 years ago on my pevious entries, you know the time during my Os. HAHAHAHAHA!! SO LAME AND CHILDISH PLS DONT GO BACK AND FIND THANKIES!!

I know I have been slow with the entries because frankly, I just really lazy to write and do fancy photoshopped pic (i'm stilll getting the hang of ps k). So while you spend your time surfing better sites, do rmb that whatever you're looking at now will be here as long as Im alive (or not) so come back once in a while okz.

till then my homies

2010-05-15T15:06:00.000+08:00

nth much has happened.

2 tests next week.

running out of blogging material.

sigh.

Home-Remedy Fail

2010-05-12T21:26:00.000+08:00

Never put toothpaste on your pimps because

Day 2 when the pimps are all dried up:

I'm obsessed with my cheapo pen

Hope you miss Fudge!

It was after a run. Sweaty sticky hot boys on floor.

Sarong Boys

2010-05-08T14:45:00.000+08:00

On the previous entry, I mentioned about the Gila Man aka that Mr Christopher Lee. It was the hair and that awful looking pants which made him the way he is - Gila.

And guess what. It (the ugly pants) inherited 2 new fans.

Woah, you guys look like a million bucks. I think their asses and crotches fell off while this pic was taken.

I shan't say that they should stop wearing those pants lah. They're celebrities for crying out loud! They can do whatever they want to and people will still adore them nonetheless.

And I also feel strongly against people who tell others what to do which is so darn annoying, like who do you think you are telling me what to do?? Especially those nobodies who spend their Saturdays nights alone blogging about things that they dislike as though they're making a huge difference in society...

I mean if you wanna look like that:

Then go for it lor... Don't let someone like me tell you otherwise man....

I couldn't resist. Hehehe....pants on the ground, pants on the ground, looking like a fool with ya pants on the ground.

ShitBallz

2010-05-02T21:34:00.000+08:00

I was raving that there isn't school tmr because of the supposed holiday I was entitled to have.

Turns out, it only applies to pri, sec and JC kids. NB.

The Gila Man

2010-05-02T01:52:00.000+08:00

Remember the time when you were young, when you had to sleep early, when you didn't have the privilege to stay up late, or maybe when you weren't old enough to rebel against your parents about the whole you-must-sleep-before-12 issue...

Remember the stories your parents told you, or the books you read when you were young...the boogey man hiding in the closet, the monster underneath the bed or the hantu observing from above. These are a few characters from classic tales that encourage difficult little children to go to bed early, enabling tired mothers to catch an early shuteye.

My mum, being a truthful and honest lady, crushed my fantasy that Santa Claus wasn't real at a tender age of 6. There was no such thing as unicorns, fairies and no, Superman cannot fly.

However, she did stuck to one story. The one about the Gila Man. That he was gonna come and take me away if I wasn't in bed by 9. And my oh my, I was promptly in bed by 830, fast asleep by 9.

I wonder why I didn't question my mum further about the existence of this Gila Man. Like his race, his attire, whether he had some secret ninja training to have attained the ability to break into a house and take a rebellious child away without anyone noticing...

I'm already 18, 19 this year. It has been long since I have grown out of the silly myths and legends stupid adults use to scare poor gullible children like mois.

BUTS! If a Gila Man was to exist, he would most probably look like that:

My mum was the first one who commented that he resembled a Gila Man.

Like seriously mum, you don't even know what a Gila Man looks like. It's a fictitious character for chris' sakes!

Elephants

2010-04-29T00:15:00.001+08:00

edited

When shit happens, a strong reaction is expected. Especially when the shit is from the behind of an African elephant - huge, moist and smelly.

The shit could be due to 2 things. Number 1, it is a natural process which all elephants go through. Number 2, it could be that a stick is lodged all the way up their wrinkled asses, causing great discomfort and displeasure. Therefore, more effort is done to remove the stick before it can join the rest of the unwanted sticks on the ground.

The first point is understandable. It is natural for shit to be made up of occasional clashes and strives. But there will be a point in time, the shit is flushed away, through an efficient plumbing system, and into the majestic ocean which boasts liberation and vindication.

The second point, however, is less desirable. The shit is unnatural, forced, redundant. It is rather unhealthy, filled with every bad thing an elephant shouldn't eat. What's more, there is junk and filth blocking their gaping holes, thus passing out shit more than is needed to.

The shit belonging to the second point brings nothing but unhappiness, conflict, grief, anger...It is really unnecessary, but no choice, there's a stick up there that has to be taken out asap!

So what to do when the shit is causing a scene? A scene which is so uncalled for, so pointless yet derogatory?

Step away from it. Avoid it like a plague. Opposing will achieve nothing but inconvenience. Because we all know removing shit from the sole of your shoe is never an easy and enjoyable task to do.

I re-read many times what I wrote and trust that you guys will have difficulty deciphering the hidden agenda behind the shit and the elephant. It's all just nonsense, you may take a pass from this one.

Teen Dad

2010-04-25T23:29:00.000+08:00

(shitty quality cause' camera sucks. you might say i'm deluded that its actually my ability and not the cam, but it is the cam. once i get a better cam and produce great pics, i'll credit everything to the pro cam. so shut your pie hole kthxbye.)

Turns out one of the supposed 2 dudes, which I named Sebestian and Slyvester respectively, is a girl. So thanks heaps for multiplying. Who wants one?

Oh, first week of school was good but slow.

For the multi-cameras module, we had a tour of the school's studio; were taught how to work the video cams, buttons, devices etc all the technical aspects of production and shit.

During the brief, I was restless as usual. So I stood crossing my ankles together, resting the sides of my shoes on the ground.
I felt very talented.

I approached K. "Eh, can you stand like that?"

"Ummm," she tried. "Can't lah, I got weak ankles."

I proceeded to challenge the rest of my classmates, only choosing the ones that will put up with my nonsense.

When the brief was finally over, we got to do some hands-on work.

I was in the middle of the studio, carrying out my role as the 'floor manager'. It was very exciting, someone was happily snapping photos away. Till, I saw one of them on FB and couldn't resist face-palming my forehead.

I remained in that standing position without even knowing I was doing it. Lame & Gayz.

Strangers

2010-04-24T14:15:00.000+08:00

Facebook is one of the many popular networking sites that encourages new alliances, new connections and new friendships.

Depending how interested others are, you'll get numerous friend requests and if you accept- ta-dah! You earned yourself a new friend who you most probably will never talk, meet, or poke. But wait, you guys are still friends. Like totally. It's a mutual understanding.

However, I hardly get any requests because many get repelled after seeing this:

Beauty is never skin-deep ):

So receiving a random friend request is something that really excites me. It's like a surprise party where I'm the one getting all the attention.

Just recently I received a request. And like many others, I screened that fellow's profile like a private investigator. What are his interests? What kind of groups does he join? Bonus if he makes his wall public, and extra extra bonus if I can get access to his photos to have a clear face to match with this suspicious-looking bio.

As I guided my mouse followed by a series of loud clicking, my younger bro stood beside and participated in my 'interrogation'. Yes, both of us were very intrigued.

"Clicked" went my mouse, and I was at his photo albums.

Shit, I thought to myself. Only 6 tag photos.

"Go see his profile pictures album, people usually upload their best photos there," my bro suggested like an experienced pro.

I dragged the white arrow head in an east-south direction of my laptop screen, and hit the "Profile Pictures" album. I clicked on the first thumbnail to enlarge the photo while my bro and I waited with anticipation as the screen loaded at a glacier's speed.

The minutes were like hours but after a few, a face stared back at both of us from the glaring screen of my laptop.

The room fell silent. It lingered for a few more seconds before my bro finally broke the silence.

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! HIS COM SUCKS!!!!!!"

2010-04-22T21:33:00.000+08:00

I know I have been slow in my updates lately but I'm just real lazy and uninspired. When I post an entry up, I want it to be engaging and not just series of random updates about my stagnant life which no one gives a hoot at.

However, I do have something to express. I having a craving. A craving for something difficult to find.

I am craving for pizza, but just not any pizza. I crave for a big greasy slice of New York pizza.

Just look at the cheesy goodness.....omgg.........my taste buds are raging now....someone better call 911

First Day - School

2010-04-19T23:06:00.001+08:00

I wore black to cover up the fats I put on.

Till then.

3 biscuits of TimTam and the Saga continues

2010-04-16T22:39:00.000+08:00

Link

Huh, like that also can arh. I didn't know dudes have such fragile soulz yoz. Oh, btw check out the creator of the group. It speaks volumes.

This is the last entry on this thing. Gotta stop, its unhealthy to care about buff boyz who haz fights over their ballz.

I like fights.

2010-04-14T23:58:00.001+08:00

The drama, the stunts, the cheering, the holding back, the settle-after-school-at-carpark etc.

I mean I don't like being in one, I just like to watch.

I'm a total wuss if someone were to pick a fight with me. Especially if it was an ahbengz or ahlianz because they got gang one. I don't have gang. If one of them was to challenge me "Simi diao simi? Ai da is it?", I'll be like "No thanks bro. Your scary tats and your piercings at unnatural areas are good enough to make me wet my pants. I'm a hum ji boyz."

The top of my list of 'fav fights' would be girl fights.

It is very entertaining to watch girls having fights. Because firstly, it starts with hurling each other with expletives at the top of their lungs before one cracks and make dive for the other. And it involves slapping, scratching and hair-pulling.

For dudes, the blows deal with much more damage and kinda strategic.

The injuries for girl fights would amount to bruises and scars, whereas for dudes they will be more blood shed like a deep cut on the lip or a broken nose.

Why the sudden fascination on fights? You would ask. Well, because a fight took place quite recently and it became so infamous it has a section in the newspapers. Not to mention that it has topped my 'fav fights' list.

The Clash of Ruggies

Just a brief info:

ACSI, RI and St.Andrews share a common pride and joy. You guess it! Rugby.

It has been an ongoing competition since as far back as 19 something something. And my oh my, how it was taken so seriously. How serious? The whole school would take a school day off to go down to cheer for their own school at the finals and if they win, next day BO SCHOOL.

It was the finals of that glorified winning-is-everything match where ACSI and St.A were against each other.

The competition was rampage, hectic, fierce. It began so intense that they were not playing to win, but rather to protect their prides and egos.

Apparently, according to the news, one cocky ACS dude mocked a St.A dude (i refuse to refer a St.A dude a 'saint') about him being a loser, but what actually broke the camel's back was: that dude made an insult about the other dude's mother! (shudders)

I mean, I assume lah.

The whole match thus ended with a pitch invasion of boys from both schools, causing a stir and maybe a scramble for videophones.

This is the first time I witness how 'patriotic' students feel about their own school. Maybe its because they're from elite schools, therefore more pressure for them to excel? And not just by studies or debates, its on sports. God damn sports. And here I am, hating to do any form of physical activity. Actually not really leh, I like to play frisbee.

Coming from a neighborhood school due to a lousy PSLE score of 184, I'm not educated with like rivalry between elite schools, and how like which school or which school is like linked for example, the flings between IJ girls and Barker boys and the bitter strife between (as above) St.Andrews and ACSI kids.

It marvels me because my school aint that happening. The only schools that are at cahoots with my lovely school(Geylang Methodist), would be other neighbourhood schools like the ones with the uniform that is blue? I forgot the name. See, neighbourhood school - forgettable sighs ):

P.s: I'm not sure whether St.Andrews is an elite school but it sounds like one.

2010-04-14T23:58:00.000+08:00

I was writing an entry when I decided to upload some photoshopped pics related to the post but I was struggling for the past 2 hours and decided to give up.

Sighs...update tmr. Keep it lock.

Penis

2010-04-06T01:37:00.000+08:00

One of the things that occupied me during the hols was babysitting.

Yeah, you heard me. I babysat. This may come as quite a joke that I actually helped someone to babysit their 5 going on 6 year-old boy for a full 3 hours. Anyway, I do have the experience. I took Fudge under my wing for more then 4 years and have concluded that the only difference between dogs and toddles was only one can throw tantrums.

So it was day that Singapore had one of its freak weathers where it rained and shined simultaneously, I was rested comfortably on a sofa with Roice, listening to his summarize version of a 12-paged picture book he brought about dudes with swords and shields.

"Oh god, really? Then who's this purple guy with the crossbow?" I asked without peeling my eyes off the tele.

"He is the bad guy who bluff his friends because he turns bad and....oh no," squealed the boy.

I turned to look at him.

"There's a hole on my sleeve," he said, putting his finger through the hole and showing it to me.

"Haha, okay..." I said.

"You know that time when I was at home I was watching tv with my legs spread out, and I looked down and saw a big hole over here" Roice pointed to the crotch of his pants. "And I saw my penis sticking out."

I was quite taken aback. Penis? The 5 year old boy knows the correct name of what makes him a dude?

"That's cool about the hole, but who taught you penis?" I asked, this time with genuine interest.

"My mummy," he answered, before giving me one of the real innocent big-eyed i-still-suck-my-thumb face.

Woah, this was a shocker to me. Because for me, I didn't learn of that term till I reached the age of like lets say...10? When I had a glimpse of the human anatomy in the "Science is Fun" textbooks?

I grew up referring penis as kuku, or kuku bird, or bird bird or kuku jiao. And it was quite a taboo word to say 'kuku jiao" infront of people due to the fact that it was 'impolite'.

So to me, a small boy who just entered primary school knows the word 'penis' and uses it so matter-of-factly is very...how do you say it...mildly appalling? I dunno man, many of you might think that it is perfectly fine to teach them the correct terms and not sugar-coat it with stupid bird referrals but still....just imagine one of them comes up to you and say "My daddy slotted his penis into my mummy's vagina and ejaculated. That's how babies are made. My mummy and daddy told me."

My sudden revelation of children these days was cut short at the sound of Roice's voice.

"But my mummy say cannot anyhow touch the penis. But sometimes when I go pass urine, I play with the balls," he giggled, giving me the classic two-front-teeth-gone grin.

I contemplated for a split second, before uttering inaudibly to myself " Oh what the heck, he already knows penis what." And I started:

"Roice," I said as sweetly as possible. "The balls you said that are balls? Well, they're called testicles"

"Te..te..ta..cal," he stuttered.

" Say 'tes'," I began.

"Tes"

"Say 'ti'"

"Ti"

"Say cels"

"Cels"

"Tessssstiiiicelllllsss, testicles," I finished.

"Testicles," he followed.

"Or say testes, " I added "for short."

This is so Sad

2010-04-01T21:16:00.000+08:00

I'm celebrating April Fool's Day

ALL ALONE

):

I'm a Bore to You

2010-03-26T01:27:00.001+08:00

On one rainy night, I was up on my laptop answering questions for, let's say, a survey. So everything went smoothly, name - Elliot, gender - Male, married - no, single - yes, lonely - hell ye...nope....Till I reached the 4th question:

I paused for a moment and thought to myself:

God, yeah. I totally have loads of hobbies and interest yo. Okay...I'm gonna write here reading.......uh-huh...and then what's next..oh oh watching tv slash cable...mediacorp programs is the fail....mmmm what else...think I'll just write going out with frenz...no, backspace....friends....um...

I took a second to stare at my screen and re-read what I wrote.

And it hit me. I'm a boring person. My hobbies/interests have been like the same boring shit since forever. I don't do something which makes people go "woah, that's interesting", something like photography. I mean photography is one of the easiest skills to pick up (easy to pick up, not master mind you) but I don't do photography. I can't even write "oh, my hobby is exercising like playing sports". Shit, I hate to exercise. Jogging once a week is not a hobby. And I bet hula-hooping is not a sport.

I have half my mind to lie and write something like

Oh shiatz, just look at the next question:

Here's my epic answer

Can't Keep it in his Pants

2010-03-19T00:33:00.000+08:00

So Jack Neo.

The latest juiciest scandal that everyone is talking about since Tiger Woods.

The only scandal that took place internally, I figured, which majority of Singaporeans would actually give a shit.

"Give a shit" as in actually searching for dirt on the whole affair, and not feeling "oh, you so poor thing" kinda give a shit. Anyhow...

The Jack Neo scandal indeed caused an uproar. He wooing multiple girls at the playground for dunno how long etc.

I'm not gonna comment on the scandal. Like really, I'm not. I mean seriously, it isn't right for me to say that the wife shouldn't have forgiven him that easily, or that the press conference was staged, or that Jack Neo has really nasty taste in girls......(resists to post wendy chong's photo)

But I find it really annoying so see people defending him by using stupid cliches like "No one is perfect. Everyone makes mistakes! INCLUDING ME & YOU!" (Source: FB duh...its inaccurate but hey)

You must understand that a small little itsy-bitsy country like Singapore rarely gets this type of "oh no he did-ent" entertainment news. And a scandal where a well-known respectable man who generated movies which upholds moral values is the bad guy, obviously the media will dive right into like poor hungry orphans attacking a single loaf of bread. Think Oliver Twist.

I also would like to point out that the only other recent event that intrigued ordinary people like...you, was the wedding of:

They make me sick ): Due to the fact that I'm without a better half. Maybe its not a fair comparison because they're like old. ancient old. i-need-to-settle-down-before-i-get-infertile old.

I can still remembered my mum reading the article of the duo and said "Wow, this is the most hyped-up wedding in Singapore. Look, it says here it will be screened on tv!"

"But you never cared mum," I started. "Plus it would be the most hyped-up divorce if there ever was one."

Back to the cliches, yes everyone makes mistakes, totally agree. But a huge one made by a celeb is quite hard to keep your hands off it you know?

Okay you know what, to make things more understandable, like me create a scenario for you.

(sch hols = free time = a lot of time at home = sudden realization that I'm without friends)

If only if it was easy like that, there will be no need for jails and the courts, and the laws, and the fines, and the police....we'll just have a very chaotic life I guess...farking everyone in the world....

The MSN Sexbot

2010-03-11T23:39:00.000+08:00

zulmastuber74@hotmail.com says:
ur not talking baby whats wrong?

eatdust says:
oh im pregnant

zulmastuber74@hotmail.com says:
sweet fill out the info ur info.. i can not wait for you to see me baby let me find something nice to wear

eatdust says:
but im pregnant

zulmastuber74@hotmail.com says:
its the sites policy to ensure no minors get access to the site so they might ask for CC to verify your age babe.

eatdust says:
ok, im only 12 years old

zulmastuber74@hotmail.com says:
What color Panties do you think i should wear? i might have you favorite color here somewhere...

eatdust says:
i think you should wear a chicken mascot and sell KFC

zulmastuber74@hotmail.com says:
Your such a good boy i'm gonna show you what good boys deserve.. you can tell me to do anything you want me too!

eatdust says:
ok, firstly I told you I was pregnant. So what makes you think Im a dude? Secondly, I would like you to sell chicken wings while wearing a chicken mascot

zulmastuber74@hotmail.com says:
Ok let me know when you get in so I can invite you directly to my cam.

eatdust says:
ok this is getting weird im getting off.

2010-03-10T00:48:00.000+08:00

what, i'm not rampage enough for you?

guess not. have fun without me.

kthkxbye.

and rampage is my fav word.

Instead of "This party is awesome!", say "This party is rampage!"

I'm getting Lazy

2010-03-08T17:19:00.001+08:00

Goldilocks

2010-03-04T15:30:00.000+08:00

My new FAV website:

http://smittenkitchen.com/

Click it, to believe it.

and lookbook.nu sucks. That is for another time.

Final project for YEAR 1. We got a B. Martharflucking B. Not even a B+. wth.

My hair was really long around that time. I didn't cut since Oct09'. The hair was all over the place, so much so that the people around me can get frustrated by just looking at my locks.

I can sport many wacky hairstyles with long hair.

Till one day, enough was enough. And I came to sch look like this:

HHAHAHAHA! BOWL HAIRCUT!

I didn't write that. Heaps of peeps were like saying "Wa, Elliot you follow the korean male stars huh??"

Wah lao, not even lor. I didn't even know that that was a "korean hairstyle". In the first place, who are you to label the bowlcut a korean hairstyle?? Turn off much? I would rather you say I followed The Beatles. But seriously, I wasn't following anyone. It was a spontaneous decision. I don't follow trends man.....I'm a trend setter yozz.

CNY

My bros. And Fudge. We look nothing alike. I'm the lesser of the 3 ): My bro (red-checkered shirt) act only, wear glasses when he has perfect eyesight.

My cousin sticking to the chongsam tradition.

HAHA, I just realized I re-wore almost all my clothes.

FUCKYEAH, UGLY DUDE

2010-02-28T22:13:00.000+08:00

You know who looks horrible?

HIM

YAY HIM

Updated

Me: Eh blo, you wanna see a ugly pic of me

Bro: Where

Me: Nah ---> (%.%)

Bro: Okay what! Not bad leh (Sucha LIAR!!!)

Bro: It's just that you look like Malay

Bro: Muhammad Ali Abdul Bte

HAHAHAHAHAHA

2010-02-23T01:31:00.001+08:00

sometimes I just wish someone would give me a spontaneous muffin...

Panasonic Lx3

2010-02-18T17:24:00.000+08:00

Scratch Canon S90. That cam is a poser.

Lx3 is the real deal. The only feature that attracted me to it - the flash.

Pop up onez lehz!!! Very old skoolzz yozzz.

One of my homiez has the exact same one, so I got to play with it.

Yeah, I know quite sad. Resorting to my animals to take some cool pics.

Anyways, pls ignore my horrible photography skills and bring your attention to the rich colours kudos to the Lx3. You're a prick if you think otherwise.

I'm not really interested in photography. Just look at the number of people that have started picking it up. And also please observe how they have become oh-so-grand about their blossoming photography skills.

I just one that can take awesome shots of things that I like. (So...for my case...dog & hamsters)

SOOOOOOOO....waiting for the IT fair lor. It will be my first time there. But just thinking about the pushing and jostling through the crowd of aunties and uncles and immature teens.....I feel tired already.

2010-02-16T01:50:00.001+08:00

The happy ending of a sappy romantic movie always stirs a warm gooey sensation at the bottom your heart that makes you wanna go:

AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW~

But in actual fact, it is just so matharfLuckin' depressing for people with stagnant lives like yours truly ):

Roses are Red.... Ang Pows too

2010-02-13T01:47:00.000+08:00

Thank God that Chinese New Year is on the same day as Valentines.

I mean, thank god for me.

Me being an unwanted, lonely single since 1991.

I remembered how I spent last year's Valentines. Observing subtly from a side, people declaring their love to one another in their many classic or creative ways.

Whereas for me, my lover has always been:

This rascal.

I'm like the male version of 'catlady' - 'doggent'. Whoopee.

So, for this year, I would be like

"Oh, valentines? Hah, I didn't have time for that man...had to go visiting you know? The first day of CNY is also so hectic!"

Haha, what a loser.

Speaking of declaring love, the most classic way is presenting a stalk of rose to their partners.

And what does the receiver do, she bends and take a whiff of the deep crimson flower that boasts romance.

I'm very confused about that. That whole smelling the rose action.

Because no smell what. Like seriously no smell. Of course there's an ordinary planty smell, but no lovingly sweet smelling fragrance that everyone expects. Unless you DIY go spray your Chanel no.5 on it or something.

Ba- ha! Elliot, why are you being so lamely insightful about flowers no having any scent when you don't receive ANY?

Huh...can you not be like this ): Sadz yoz.

Be back soon, having exams following week.

XX

2010-02-10T23:05:00.001+08:00

I'm doing very badly in school now.

Yay me.

2010-02-08T22:34:00.000+08:00

Do you know how I not get affected by certain things people do just to spite me?

I just avoid the whole damn thing.

Though it still bugs me, I just stay out of the way because I don't want to do something that allows people to accuse me for overreacting, or that I 'think' too much.

Now I needa throw something.

2010-02-02T18:47:00.000+08:00

A hosting audition which I will never get in.

Go for what.

Lamez.

UPDATED

Sure won't get in! Forgot my lines and gave a blank stare/smile at the camera while the whole room fell silent. Cue in crickets chirping.

Why do I even bother trying.

Noob Dog

2010-01-31T16:12:00.000+08:00

Fudge broke a nail last night.

It flowed really badly. But I'm without a bandage, only plaster. My mum too busy buying food for my tummy to care about household injuries. Tell me, how to make plaster stick on fur?

Stupid dog still smiling like a joker hahahahha

We like to abuse him by making him wear silly hoodies.

HipHop Dawg

1, 2, 3 SPOT FUDGE

OK, SPOT HIM AGAIN

I feel smelly.

2010-01-28T18:47:00.001+08:00

my classmates are laughing at my photoshop skills.

you know what, I dont give a shiatzzz bitches

Edited

Why so serious? Joke only lah hahaha

2010-01-24T13:48:00.000+08:00

I THINK I'M GOING TO GET A CANON S90

(:

Roar

2010-01-22T23:49:00.001+08:00

I would like to say that ring is chio and photoshop is fun.

Peace.

Photoshopping

2010-01-19T23:47:00.000+08:00

One of my modules for my course is to learn how to use all the different types of Adobe programmes like inDesign and you're famous Photoshop.

I even have a freakin ICA on it this coming thursday.

So being a very studious and well-prepared student, I downloaded the 30-day free trial Adobe photoshop and other programmes just to prep myself for ICA. I even went to the library and borrowed a cheerful "How to Do Everything - Adobe Photoshop CS4" book.

Excitedly, I played around with the buttons and the devices. The end result is like magic. Literally. Here's an example.

My fugly face. Taken months back. Remeber the swollen eye I spoke of in one of my entries? Well, you can see it right there. On your right. I'm like super duper Susan Boyle the male version. Wait, but minus the triple-chins.

After Photoshopped:

HAHAHAHA!! OMG! Even though I think I can make my nose abit more smaller, FREAKIN MOTHER HUGE CHANGE LEH!!!

edited: i went & photoshop again. my nose cmi.

WAH LAO EH!! I'M LIKE DAMN DEPRESSED NOW COMAPRING THE BEFORE & AFTER PICS!

*spot the difference*

Actually, both look quite gross.

Haha, if I was like some insecure fragile little girl, I tell you my self-esteem will come crumbling down after looking at this!

HAHAHAHAHA, I'm still nub so I have lots to learn. So I hope I can learn as much before the trial ends. hehehhehehehhehehehhe bai

2010-01-14T22:56:00.001+08:00

"I would like you to do one page insight paper on the guest speaker handed in by Fri, typed out Font 12 Arial and double-spacing"

What on earth.

Even though it was be a treat for me to listen to guests from the media industry to talk about the media industry, I don't wanna stay up late and do some lame insight paper that I most probably won't look back and think "Wow. That insight paper I did really is helpful."

I rather not have guest speakers than to do an insight paper.

This is as shallow I can get.

Dumbass Motherfark

2010-01-13T23:13:00.000+08:00

Let's start off gay.

Well, that amused me.

I got into a hissy fight with one of my lecturers today.

Quite unbelievable, I know right. Coming from such a tolerant and understanding individual, I actually blew up at that person.

Let's all name that person: FeliciaAbegailJane. (there's a nice ring to it but please don't name your children that)

It is to protect her fragile identity, and also to keep me out of trouble if someone from my school discovers this blog and blahdiblahblah come find me, tell me close the blog, call my parents and all the rubbishy nonsense.

Ah yah, its really stupid lah. The whole class is not really fond of FeleciaAbegailJane to begin with, and here she comes round this afternoon, yielding her stupid metal pointer, using it to touch/hit any random object or human being she can reach.

I seriously hate people who use any long long stick, be it a metal stick, plastic stick, drum stick, to prob and poke people around. Do you know its very rude? Imagine where the stick had contact with before FeleciaAbegailJane use it on us. Maybe FeleciaAbegailJane use it to help her reach certain places that is difficult, for instance a ball under a bed, a sheet of paper behind a bookshelf or maybe a certain persistent itch right up a certain area which I certainly won't go into.

Being a responsible woman indeed, FeleciaAbegailJane came hounding at me for the tutorial I haven't done. Which the whole class didn't do. Jabbing me accusingly with her stupid stick, she said "Why are you so slow?"

And I got pissed and said "Can you don't touch me with that?"

Then later that day, here I was, happily discussing with a friend on a particular question. We were faced with a problem and being humble students who admire FeleciaAbegailJane so greatly, we asked her. And our mistake was there was a calculation error.

She then continued, after spotting the mistake "Where are your calculators??"

My friend pulled hers while I just gave her a blank stare, and then pointed at my handphone.

FeleciaAbegailJane not only pinned me down her pair of Asian eyes, but also pointed at me accusingly with her bloody metal stick "You copy blindly right? Why don't have your calculator?..." She went on like a machine gun but I just turned a deaf ear because I shot back by saying

"Oh God man. Whatever ok whatever. Please go away. Please please go away"

Then she was mad. And half-shouted at me because I was sitting in the front row.

"Elliot. Don't you dare gimme attitude. If you would have brought your calculator, this wouldn't had happen etc..."

Me, being so respectful, immediately exclaimed "Oh sorry Miss FeleciaAbegailJane. I'm so sorry." And at the same time contemplating on whether I should add in a "Can you forgive me?" But decided not to.

Sighs, if you know me from Secondary, that is how I roll with stupid teachers. Be sarcastic and superficial. It works really well.

Sunday

2010-01-11T13:42:00.000+08:00

If I didn't blog today, I wouldn't have blogged for this week, breaking one of my resolutions for 2010.

You know, I thought to myself, 'No biggie man, I just have to blog twice next week for not blogging last week and there, all back to normal.' . Well, if I'm gonna find loop holes in all my resolutions then no point painstakingly write down a whole list alrighty.

It is just not that I don't wanta blog, I'm just lazy lah. That is the number one/only reason that is all to it. So lame.

Moving on, just to ensure that my blogging juices is always flowing I would like to introduce a new segment to my entries. It's called:

Learn a New Word
(if you think my title is dull, why don't you try inventing one on the spot of 3 secs bitch)

Flaccid
- soft & limp. Not hard not strong. Like tofu.
Sentence: The sight of you makes every willy become flaccid.

Use Flaccid today.

Wah lao, am I that desperate for content. Shit.

And I shall end here. I'm tired and I think one of hamster is preggos.

A Birthday, A Rant and 2010

2009-12-31T20:23:00.000+08:00

I'm blogging this half-heartedly

A Birthday

God man, I think I blinked too fast. Christmas has come and gone and tmr's already new year's eve, followed by new year's day.

Another event that also came and went was my birthday. Like finally man! Really have to thank the rest for the celebration haha THANK YOU BUDS!

My first shot!! HAHAHA!! REALLY MY FIRST SHOT BECAUSE IM 18!!

And J was so bent on making that my dp on FB. HAHA! I was like "Wah lao! Don't want lah!! Damn freakin poser! Very disgusting ok!"

And she shot back and said "EEE! Then what's up with your present dp now? ACT ONLY!"

HHAHAHAH!! IM A FREAKIN HYPO!! If you didn't know, she was referring to this pic:

WAHAHAHA!! I tell you, this one right is the most poserish-acting-cool-that-I-am-drinking peekture ever! Because you see, every time when we go out I always wanna have a new dp because I like a night backdrop. And my dp HAS to be a candid one. So I was like "HEHEHE Take me drinking this ok??" So I opened my mouth partially to look as though I was going to be drinking this cocktail then VIOLA! Candid yoz!

Haha, I'm total dickhead.

Photobucket" border="0">

Wa, orgasm face.

DrunkLords. 1 , 2, not me.

Yay, thanks for everything yoz.

A Rant

Singapore Idol!

My all time fav show I catch every tues at 830, LIVE at 10!!

Not.

So we all know who is the winner of this year's idol. That Malay dude, dunno his name, don't care because he'll just be like the past winners and soon fade to non-existence.

After the results of the winner, there were many outcries. Firstly, because it was a male winner, again. And secondly, it was a Malay winner, again.

So, there were lots of status updates on FB about this issue, but it was more on the 2nd point. The race point. Some updates were quite mean like : "Why not change it to Malaysian Idol"

Then the Malays peeps will shoot back by bringing back history on how Singapore was actually ruled by the Malays.

And my question to you guys, yes both sides who were on the Malay dude's team or the other girl's team (God, I dunno their names lah), is: What are you even watching Singapore Idol in the first place?

Like hello? The show is abit stoopid? Because the winners only get as far as advertising with 7-11 man. Or winning Asian Idol then whats next? Co-hosting this years Idol huh WAHAHAHA Joke sia.

2010

Apart from the fact that I'm most likely gonna spend the new year's eve by myself, I think 2009 was generally fine.

And yes, here I am with another bunch of resolutions. They never grow old. I'm a very goal-driven person ok. I play soccer.

2010 Resolutions

1) I wanna loose another 5kg.

2) Hold my tongue because it has gotten me into horrible situations.

3) Stop viewing people's Facebook's pics and go "Eeeee, where the girlfriend so chio but the boyfriend lidat."

4) Refrain from apologizing to vendors for not having small change but only a large 50-dollar note to pay for a 1.30 Apple Hi-Chew.

5) Get a fucking better GPA for Poly yoz!

6) Dont get a freakin damn what people think or say about me negatively. (You see how fragile I am...sighs...)

7) Take up a GODDAMN SPORT!

8) Stay low-key during poly. Answer when needed and don't make unnecessary comments.

9) Go back to church........stupid 2-sided people in that church

10) Religiously read the bible every night

11) Fudge for walks at least twice a week

12) Post up a really private and personal entry soon (It will blow your minds man. Honestly.)

13) Don't feel sad when you see couples together

14) Cut short hair

15) Get a stupid close guyfriend lah omgamithatfuckingrepulsive

16) Start on projects and assignments on the day they were given out

17) Thou shall buy no more shoes

18) Discipline my little bro because his olevel year is next year and I don't wanna him end up like me

19) Use the little 2010 calender to organize my stupid stuff.

20) Blog at least once week

God, its right now 4:23am 31st dec 2009. Last entry for this year. I hope next year will be a blast man, Seriously pray so. Love ya mums, bwai.

Is It Still Too Early?

2009-12-20T22:43:00.001+08:00

I know it only has been a month, but I feel that I can move on. My friends were surprised at my move. They were even shocked that I too such a short time to recover. Oh god, I kinda feel guilty. Should I have waited a little longer? Am I really that bad just because I continue with life after just a short span of 1 month?

Well, no matter what...in the end, I moved on in life. I put the past in the past. Shove whatever has happened right at the back of my mind. No more tears to wipe. No more pain to bear. Call me insensitive. Call me heartless. I don't care. I'm picking up the pieces and putting them in my pocket. I don't need you judging me. You don't know me.

I will prove it to you right here right now, in this miserable blog how strong I am. Strong enough to post what I have done that to prove my point how strong am I.

In several seconds, you gonna know what is going on. And yes, I'm sure I'll hear your judgements. Your criticisms. Your stupid opinions and your unnecessary comments. Bring it, bitches. I'm ready. I'm strong. I'm Hercules. You can't top that.

Guchucma passed on not too long ago. I'm still sad. I'm still upset. But everyone has to move on. This is me moving on. With, rebound hamsters.

2009's Resolutions

2009-12-12T14:38:00.000+08:00

Oh god, this totally blows man. Just think. Just before the stroke of midnight on the 31st Dec 2009, you and your dear ones will be huddled together getting ready to usher in the new yer of 2010.

Believe me, I'm trying so hard not to blink. Because before I know it, we all will be gathered at the same place we were on 2009 to welcome 2011.

I still can recall on 1st Jan, I was so excited and ecstatic about 2009. So many hopes and dreams I planned out so ever ready to accomplish. New school, new friends, turning 18...

But truthfully, it was rather mediocre. This totally suck ballz man...

Speaking of the new year, lets go back to my archives to re-post my 2009's resolutions.

The 2009 RESOLUTIONS List

1. Eat less healthy food.

2. Eat more healthy food.

Oh, did I write that? What a stupid resolution. How am I suppose to keep track on what I food I ate for the past 365 days? Maybe I wrote it just to make my list longer.

3. Bring Fudge for a long walk at least once a week.

Twice or even Thrice ok! I surpassed my own expectations!

4. Exercise.

That depends. I was on and off throughout the year. But I know for sure I don't look as obese as last year.

5. Get a new camera.

Ah yah....this is more of a want list lah. But I really satisfied with my Sony Camera ever since I totally lost interest in Photography since every living being is like picking it up as a hobby. I don't wanna go with the flow man.

6. Continue to be a loyal reader of 8 days!

STILL GOING STRONG EVERY WEEK BABY!

7. Keep in contact with my Secondary fwens.

Oh god, just look at the way how I spell 'friends'. Yeah, we're ever so contactable.

8. Continue piano lessons!

Another one I proudly say I achieved.

9. Oh, and maybe guitar...if there's still a spark.

Got Spark? Yes. But only for like 2 weeks. Then I got bored and also realize people who play the guitar think so full of themselves. (most of them not all) Like am I suppose to be impress just because you know how to strum a guitar? Well I know how to tinkle the keys of a piano. Beat that bitch.

10. Join a sports cca in poly so that I'm will still achieve no.4 resolution.

HAHAHAHAHHAHA!! This is like the ultimate joke of the jokes man! NO I DIDN'T ACHIEVE THAT! But I went for the kayaking orientation, doesn't that count something?

11. Continue to blog (:

Not consistent but yes, I still blog =D

Minty Stripes

2009-12-09T20:57:00.000+08:00

6th Dec

We went to Timbre@Substation to celebrate Huiying's 18th birthday;

THEME: STRIPES

Happy Birthday to you!
And everyone hated the cake (it was choco and mint) wahahahhaha but still edible.

The rest of the entry are just chio pics of us woohoo

Now lets get all geared up for 26Dec alrigties babiessssss

HEHEHEHEHEHHEHEHEHHE

2009-12-09T12:59:00.000+08:00

NEW PP

I'M DAMN OBSESSED WITH MY JAWLINE! I LIKE IT SHARP AND HOT WAHAHAHAHHA

2009-12-02T13:00:00.000+08:00

I feel kinda guilty skipping school today. Plus I'm quite afraid of getting warning letters for my attendance because including today, I would have missed 4 hours of that module. And the other day my PM read out my attendance which is 96%.

I'm actually a bit of a law-abiding pussy alright, so skipping sch is as far I can go to be a rebel, you know?

):

2009-12-01T12:59:00.000+08:00

I'm really swamped with work...

2009-11-28T23:28:00.000+08:00

The previous entry wasn't really a proper update. So let's begin the right way.

Oh God, I really miss you guys man!! Even though less than 5 readers drop by every week, I still totally miss ya'll!! There will always be this bond between us that will remain unbreakable. Don't worry, I'll try not to forsake this blog. I can still remember last year, I would be so eager to blog about rubbishy stuff abt school and...school....yeah basically school. Damn, where did all of that go?

Do you miss me, my face, my personality and the never-closed wardrobe door?

The picture was taken in the morning. Had a presentation later that day and I am so prepared for it. You can see my hard effort secured tightly by a rubber band and firmly gripped in my large hand. (Hahaha, can you see 'lazy'?)

Yeah, that was till my frenZ read it and spotted something that shamed me terribly.

This is how I spell 'SALES' - 'SALSE'. Epic fail. And the rest kept on going 'sal-sa' 'sal-sa' at me. Fine. Those despikable imbsiles.

Oh, you know what. My parents thought that I was anorexic. Umm, its a bit lame.

I always complain that I'm fat(still am, you havent seen my topless so you wouldn't know and who wants to see my topless I mean like its a bit gross to assume that people want to see my shirtless I shouldn't go around assuming and that's besides the point I'm disgressing lets continue where we left off) since last year.

You know last year I was super fat ok. I was like the the fat boy that bombed Japan alrighty. You know why, because it was the Olevel year and I binge to destress. Plus I didnt really care 2 hoots about how I looked during secondary school because I was already terrible to look at from head to toe. Like literally. My younger bro pointed out I wear cargo pants to sch.

So after the Os, when everything was relaxed and easy, I wanted to burn those marthafarker fats. I did a bit of exercise but stopped due to lack of discipline and I hated to exercise. But going on a diet, that my willpower is strong. My diet is basically cut back on food.

I did that every day, lost 5 kg since Feb, but still wanna loose another 5kg. People started to comment I shrunk which made me really happy. But my parents grew seriously concern on one fateful dinner.

It was a really a yucky dinner. That this slab of cold pork with some disgusting sauce. I gave it a miss and settled with just vege and eggs. And so that made my parents suspicious about me being anorexic.

HAHAHAHHAHHA V.Lame leh! Then now they always monitor my food..very irritating manz. Scold me for reducing rice and etc shitz. Sighs...

Ohoh, I dunno why but there's this Hermes scarf charity thingy going on and the more I look at the ads, the more I yearn man. I totally want a Hermes scarf!

Ah yah, I will go against all my morals about wearing scarfs and shawls and blahblah in Singapore. Still remember my entries on how I ridicule those fashionistas, my less than 5 readers?

Sian lor, if only SG snows or something. Plus I guess the only people who can work those scarves are:

him and

oh this dude and

these hot chicks and

this Ah Ma.

Me? ): Can't pull it off lah. It's very saddenenenening.

Looming clouds

2009-11-18T20:43:00.000+08:00

Now how should I start this entry...arrghh....ok, so here it goes.

Something really unfortunate happened very recently. Like this morning recently. But I shall start with something that happened 2 weeks ago.

I suffered an infected eye. HAHAHA, why can't I just say 'My eye tio swollen'...

I think I have really chio eyelashes

I had it like a week. The experience was horrible. Evey time my right eye blinked, I would feel a shot of sharp pain around the eye area...The size differences of the left and right eye was so stark .... It ballooned so big that finally, after many times of trying so hard to be ugly, I did exceptionally well for that whole week. Boohoohoo....

And guess what? You know who else shared the same disease(I like to exaggerated my illness) as me. My adorable hamster Guchucma. Oh, if you didn't know, I changed her name from Gucci to Guchucma. It's a merger of 'Gucci' 'Chuckles' and 'Jamma' into one word.

Ok, so she had it and I'm gonna post a photo of her eye. It's extremely gross so viewer discretion is advised. Not suitable if you have a weak heart or a weak stomach.

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

You sure you wanta see? Very er sing you know...
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Confirm ah! Don't say I didn't warn you!
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

Haha.......disgusting ornot....The eye looks like its bulging out right? If you were to use your finger to poke the eye, it feels all harden...you could actually peel the whole eye out.

You can see the OMMF size difference on both eyes...

Shiatz...really damn gross....

Ok, so she's not really suffering from an eye infection or a swelling eye or whatever.

It's a fucking eye tumor.

I realized it last night when I came home from school. Got a shock of my life when I saw that monstrous eyeball, became real frantic, googled 'swollen eye hamsters' 'eye infection hamsters' 'rock hard eye hamsters' 'fucked-up eye you see in horror films hamsters'...

Then I consulted this person on MSN who is like the Albert Einstein of hamsters. After looking at the pic I sent her of that sickening eyeball, she concluded that it was tumor because one of her hamsters experienced the same thing.

Was planning to bring Guchuma to the vet today along with the fat and smelly Fudge for his jabs, but I found her dead this morning. So sad.................

So.......yup that's about it.

R.I.P babe.

Whatever has happened to you?

2009-11-01T23:06:00.000+08:00

Oh Gawd. I don't blog as often like last time man... I think I'm grown out of the blogging bug. I might even delete this blog since its just only taking up space in the cyber realm. Plus just feeling down to blog most of times because I let stupid thoughts flutter in my brain and worry till the cow comes home when actually everything is just fine. Yeah, fine. I wish.

But oh well...what to do what to do...

2009-10-12T17:31:00.000+08:00

I'm mad at myself for not exercising today even though I constantly reprimanded myself for skipping a whole week of not working out last week and really have to start the ball rolling today.

Eww. Did I just use the phrase 'work out'? Oh boo, now I'm sound like someone who hits the gym everyday. Shit, now I said 'hit the gym'. Gawd, I gotta stop doing that because I feel rather strongly about using lingos that only certain types of people can use. Here, I'm obviously talking about people who go to the gym or exercise frequently. You know.. the 'gym lingo' . Unlike me, who likes sitting at home and indulging on last week's potato chips. Yes, 'indulge' that I can use. And 'munch'.

Speaking of words that are appropriate to use, it has come to a point of time when I can't start to use 'cool' words in my conversations and pull them off as 'hip' words that are already in my everyday vocabulary.

It definitely won' t work if I start using them with people I know my whole life. Someone will tend to pick it up and foil my whole goal to look 'cool'. Words like 'dope' or 'WORD'.

Now, photography.

How it used to be so different and special and out-of-the-ordinary to pick up such a hobby. But now it becoming more and more common and conventional, you see it almost everywhere and almost everyone is picking it up.

I have come down with 2 blames that have made photography as common as idiots sporting oversize spectacles even if their eyesight are perfectly fine:

Technology.

Cameras. No, Digital Cameras are becoming bleedy high-tech that it puts my IT skills to shame. You have high definiation, the 2-digit mega pixels, face detection, auto adjust function and etc... It just makes taking photos so much easier. And because of that, people can now take smashing photos that are out of this world. Thanks to your handy dandy digi-cam, packed with a punch.

So, everyone thinks that their some sort of prodigy. Hello, thank the techonology, not you or God who gave you the talent.

Facebook. (Or any other interactive virtual platform but I think FB is the cause.)

I think Facebook plays a large role you know? It is what ignites the sudden interest of photography because of the thing where you can share your heartfelt photos and people can comment and 'like it' or whatever.

It's sad you know...photography being seen everywhere now....

(For the record, there are people who actually take good pictures regardless how high-tech their cameras are. I'm just annoyed that there are several deluded ones who think they are gifted in photography when all their 'talent' is in the camera and its functions. And maybe a bit of photoshop. Peace.)

Anyways,

Happy Birthday Shiyin for last week!

She's a fairy~~~~~~~~

Aren't these insansely cute!

2009-09-25T01:33:00.000+08:00

(Tiny paw on the pens! CUTENESS TO THE MAX!)

And hello, I'm using a lousy Sony 7.2 mega-pixelled camera? But I took such great shots of Guchucma. Bet I'm extremely gifted. Don't start calling me a deluded prick because of my airs , you jealous stick.

Bubblegum Fail

2009-09-21T23:02:00.000+08:00

I'm starting to become one of them camwhore idiots who lika play around with da webcam. But webcams are fun k.

Luxuries Malaysia has but Singapore is without - gum.

This first thing I would buy from our neighbouring country filled with illegal dirt (pirated CDs and the small capsule thingys which you throw on the floor to make a loud sound...you know what I'm talking about ornotzz) is gum. I'm just so fascinated by gum that it is embarrassing.

It could be because I lurve ongoing action in my mouth. Like chewing gum, sucking sweets....oh, and BJ !! Wouldn't you lurve to have a round of Black Jack while gum-chewing and bubble-blowing...

2009-09-20T01:31:00.000+08:00

It's so cute when Fudge and Guchucma look up at the same time from their sleep when I make a sudden movement.

K goodnight, I'm going to sleep now.

Speak my mind

2009-09-16T00:17:00.000+08:00

Tilt my head to one side, and witness noodles of thoughts streaming out from the ears.

Nah...they're kept under lock and key. No one understands. Let me just wallow in the back of my mind of dark secrets and self-pity; and forever I wait for a kind soul to come in.

This must be one of those days where I get myself depressed over unspoken issues. They make me feel sorry for myself. Real sorry for me.

Don't be emo lah, fark.

Today's Lunch

2009-09-13T13:05:00.000+08:00

Porridge.

Gah. Not really a huge fan. Oh wait, I'm not really a fan.

At least there's Jizzer Bweno to lighten the gloomy lunch.

Yeah, you noticed. The free tshirt from SP's open house.

Don't we all lurve free shitzz. But don't be a fool and wear it out. There's a line we need ta draw.

Oh Gawd. It's 232am and I can't sleep.

2009-09-02T02:32:00.000+08:00

Sure gonna wake up at 1pm later and rush off at 2pm for school ):

BayBeats abit overrated yeah?

2009-09-01T15:51:00.000+08:00

It was the first time going to that musical frenzy for the first time last Saturday. Unplanned of course, because we arrived half an hour late for our movie which left us with nothing to do for the rest of the night.

"Let's go BayBeats!" J suggested excitedly.

Can...why not since Suntec is like walking distance to Esplanade. I'm not gonna describe the music, the genre, the instruments or the whatever that contributes to the jizz of music because it isn't my thing. I'm not really someone into music if you haven't heard.

While J was gawking over the nerdy ang moh she totally digs at the front row and me laughing to my visual imagination of a scene where the musicians ended their performance but the music continues playing, I noticed some people in the audience that...how to say ah...are really fake lah.

It is wrong to assume and jump to conclusions but I can't stand people who, you know, like show that they can 'appreciate' music via bobbing their heads to the beat, closing they eyes and like applauding with the arms held high. It's like the 'Oh I'm so cool and in because I go to this type of performances and know how to appreciate the music that you, this type of person, can't"

Firstly, the performances/gigs/shows or whatever are FOC. And secondly...well I don't a second point but I shall think of one and get back to you ASAP.

Like seriously, the last performances before we called it quits was really awful. It was this guy armed with a guitar playing random notes and just singing, ok he's not even singing, he was like demanding his so called 'lyrics' in a freakin mother low and rough tone that people can't even decipher. Ah yah, very difficult to explain but the whole thing doesn't even have a tune. And still people can cheer and applaud and really want their cd. LIKE COME ON LAH.

Really irks me this kinda of people. "Oh look at me. I goes baybeats coz I knows how to apwciate musiac. Looky me move my boda around the dancefloor, synchronizing with the bom bom cha."

And oh freak!! I totally didn't know yesterday was teacher's day until I ask my brother why he has half-day from school. No one told me lor!! I freakin thought it was in October sia. Major WHOOPS!

Tagboxes are for little suckers who wanta advertise their mediocre blogshops that sell almost what every blogshop is selling. Like tots.

2009-08-31T14:01:00.000+08:00

Minutes after I woke up

2009-08-28T13:49:00.000+08:00

Minutes before I need to leave for school.

Farking please boys. Don't do this. It's extremely embarrassing to see these kinda shots on Facebook.

My finger up to you.

We all can't wait!

2009-08-28T00:29:00.000+08:00

For our nose hairs to grow until here.

Use your imagination

2009-08-25T22:04:00.000+08:00

Her mouth looks like youknowwhat with really yellow teeth. Doesn't it?

No? Yes? Umm... btw, what is your visual resemblance of the "youknowwhat" in the first place.

Ball ball is lurbe lurbe

2009-08-23T15:28:00.000+08:00

Spent my day fruitfully at Jez's place. Indulging on ballz topped with bbq sauce+mayo and browsing through the net to look at adult toys and chio costumes.

Sunday is so lazy. Lurve the weather. So moist, damp, cold and cosy. And I have been asking around what time my paper starts tomorrow but everyone all doesn't know. K, then tmr we all pon the paper allrightoos??

I hate Fudge for having such a good life. Everyday just eat, play, sleep, shit.

Edited bitchez. Too bad you missed it.

2009-08-21T14:25:00.000+08:00

2009-08-20T13:21:00.000+08:00

I clocked in 9am on my alarm last night, but I didn't on it.

Slept through 9am. Woke up at 11am. Went back to sleep at 11.01am. Woke up at 12pm.

I am behind my study schedule ):

Close to 7 Days

2009-08-16T17:12:00.000+08:00

Gucci took a holiday from me for a week. Scurrying around the house to look for domestic beetles and house lizards to feast on. It was a Saturday night when my brother found her coming out of hiding, conceding defeat that life outside the perimeter of her tank is TMTH (too much too handle).

OMG. Just look at her feet!(pawz, feetz, clawz. whatever.) As black and dirty like BANGA...................Bangalizatisheraks. Its a very black vegetable found in Madagascar. Go google it.

Her long-snowish-slivery-and-chio hair now has dust bunnies caught in between the roots, she's even visibly smaller in size. And when I took a whiff of her, she smelt like DEATH!!! It was so bad that I retched.

Bo pian needa bathe her even though the lame hamster books say should'nt. But she damn smelly lah, can die one k.

She's like a cat. No like water.

Wa, successful eh someone.

Fairprice soap. She's in need for that.

Orh hor!! Gucci bu shuangzzzz liaozz!!

InstaX Mini so CHIOZ

2009-08-14T00:31:00.002+08:00

Mois ish chiozxzxzx too.

Talk about exams, we have a whole week off from school. And no, my hols have not started. The week off from school, believe it or not, is called 'a study break' week.

Like wth? 'Study'? 'Break'? Put together? 'Studybreak'? No meaning. It's a break but you have to study. Like retarded k. This is another case of juxtapositioning. Hehehe, can you use 'juxtapositioning' in your sentence correctly? Guess not.

Oh yah, did I mention a fight broke out between 2 classmates of mine? Well, it was quite heated and siongzxz. Tears were shed. Knuckles were bruised. And nails were broken. I stood rooted to a spot. Arms wrapped around my waist. Taking it all in. I hardly wintness fights firsthand and mannn....lurves the drama. Shall talk about it more during my 'studybreak' week. Oh wait, I can't. I have to study. Booo...

Btw, Gucci, the furry bitch, ran away. Missing almost 2 days liao; but I know she's behind the unreachable end of my bookshelves. Coz when I put a piece of watermelon at the entrance of the hole that no human can squeeze through, the next day its gone! Spooky.

The Bitch is Back

2009-08-05T22:42:00.000+08:00

Came crawling back to me when I was fast asleep. Lucky I didn't squish her.

Gawd

2009-08-03T23:17:00.000+08:00

Gucci ran away again! Pissing me of that stupid fairy princess leaving a place of unlimited supply of food, water, play and rest. She doesn't treasure what she has, goodness!! Must be rebelling hah!! PMS huh! Stupid furry bitch. woohoo

22 July, love

2009-08-01T23:57:00.000+08:00

I'm not yet dead guys, still alive. Just that the blogging bug has left me for so very long, not as enthu as last time to blog ):

Anyways, the same old same old - school, work, dog, hamster. Was sick this week, had 3 days of MC (YIPEE!). Found this website to download tv serials and movies. Hehe, I finished watching Gossip Girl Season 2!! (Nate is such a farkhole!) Currently staying up in the wee hours of the monring to watch Ugly Betty Season 3. I can be a total spoiler for those of you who lurves American shows.

Oh yah, I completely forgot to dedicate a birthday post to Fudge!

It was on the 22 July, his 4! Making him 28 years old in human years. We missed out on a cake for him too ): Im sorry Fudgey hunny bunny!! LOVELOVE K

Wooo! You can see what's living in those notrils!!

Till then, peace yo.