post-script

Ever wondered why people avoid you? Why people ignore you? Why sometimes you eat alone in the canteen? Why you do not any fwens?

Umm, because you stink.

Literally. As in because you are smelly. As in you emitt overpowering 1000 year-old spoilt banana-like smell from your unshaved pits. As in you make people gag and gasp everytime they are at arm's length away from you. As in people cant talk properly to you as they cant speak and breathe from their mouth at the same time.

One solution would be to freaking mother BATHE. Keep proper hygiene. Scrub your pits with Dove till they go red and sore or just shave it off. If you know what I mean.

Anyway, I trust that all of you bathe at least once a day. (I freaking bathed 3 times last week)

If you hate me because I sound like you Mother, you are so dumb.

Its for your stupid own good. Smelly people generally find difficulty fitting in socially. Who likes being beside a smelly person? Come on who? Raise your hand? Ah, yes, I see your hand. Guess what you're smelly too.

Unless they find other smelly friends and do smelly stuff and form an official smelly club. Then, good for them lor.

I had BO or body odour like hmmm... lower secondary? Eh, I was experiencing purberty! Btw, purberty to me came as though someone dropped a really huge explosive bomb on me. It was really shocking how God structured the human body.

The first person who told me I had BO ( because usually you cant sense your own BO ) was my Mum. She freaking saved my life. I was so afraid everyone would find me repulsive and revolting that I did the necessary to put my BO to extinction.

So hearing from an ex-BO inflicted victim, you should heed my advise. Another solution which I personally use even though my BO days are long gone is:

TA-DAH! Deodarant. You can see my name scrawled on the orange cap.My mum brought this back from Israel so I cant understand the words on it unless I know Greek which I dont but I got freakin C5 for Chinese Os! HAHA! Beat that!

I dont know about what kinda scent it gives off because the flower on it is foreign to me. However, my nose tells me that it smells of sort a cucumberish-lemony scent. But please ah, dont share it with your friend arh, this comes under personal hygiene. Unless you wanna have you pits indirectly place on another person's pits, then be my guest.

Btw, mine is the roll-ups. Not those spray ones. Because the spray ones leaves you with a very strong smell and I dont want to be an object emitting smells. I mean, if you put on really strong deodarant sprays or some branded perfume and walk into a bus, people are obviously gonna wrinkle their nose and look around to see where the smell is coming from. Its just like fart. Thank you, but I dont need the extra attention.

Because those people who puts those stuffon their bodies are like potpourri. and I dont wanna smell like a potpourri aka dried scented flowers aka (see below)

Nor do I wanna be referred to as a car refresher. This is more for the guys.





I just want to be odourless. No smell, no nothing.

If you know you are smelly but you are doing nothing, not a single freaking thing to help yourself, you suck. Which brings me to another entry on 'how not to suck'. Which will be posted some other time.